


Doppelgänger

by BlueMonkey, ThornyHedge



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Doppelganger, Elves, Erebor, Evil Twins, M/M, Magic, Male Slash, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:21:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMonkey/pseuds/BlueMonkey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornyHedge/pseuds/ThornyHedge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Battle of the Five Armies is over and Thorin rules as King Under the Mountain with Fili and Kili at his side.  What happens when an unforeseen enemy with a lust for the One Ring encroaches on the kingdom they are trying to rebuild and uses a loving, familiar face to cause utter chaos?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Murky Pool

**Author's Note:**

> Off we go, on another adventure! It's set post-BOTFA, and we've taken some liberties in that the Durins all survived. Our antagonist, Alatar, was taken directly from Tolkien lore. He is one of two Blue Wizards, or Ithryn Luin. Little is known of him, so we decided to add him to our story. 
> 
> We hope you enjoy!
> 
> Note: There is no actual rape in this story, just the threat, but we felt it warranted the warning, just in case.

This story was inspired by an amazing work of art by 鯖まぐろ . . .

\- - - - - - - 

Long, delicate fingers curled around the edges of the bowl. The water contained in it was flat as a mirror, but it was not the image of the tall man hovering over it that showed.

The man looked down at the reclamation of the Lonely Mountain as it unfolded from the safe distance of his scrying pool. For months now his focus had been drawn by the company. Things were coming to an end at last. His beginning. He had never been the type to sully his hands confronting a dragon, nor with the blood of a raging battle. His power was that of those who had the time to wait.

Alatar. They called him a Blue Wizard. He watched vigilantly as Thorin's company—with the notable assistance of a halfling, of all creatures—outwitted Smaug. He watched as the arrow of a bow notched and buried itself deep into the single weakness of the might of the North. By that action, Erebor was free to be repopulated by the dwarves once again. 

The line of Durin ruled once again under the Mountain; the youngest branch of the family tree on either side of the throne.

But it wasn't Erebor that held his attention. It was the ring. It called to Alatar like a beacon. And it was the halfling who carried it. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire; protected by the King under the Mountain, instead of returning home like he ought to.

The plan had been developing and unfolding in his head for months, when one night, he beheld beneath the ripples of the pool, his opportunity. 

The youngest of Durin's line walked through the markets of Esgaroth, unsuspecting. Unaware.

Kili lagged behind and stopped in front of a stall bearing apples. He wasn't much of a haggler, which resulted in him paying far too much for two apples from the Mirkwood forest, grinning at the stall attendant, and running back after his brother.

"Fili!" he called out, at which Fili turned around. "You didn't even notice me missing, did you?" Kili ran up to him and nudged Fili's shoulder with amusement. "You're terrible. Here." He tossed him the apple. "You should eat."

Wordlessly, the blond accepted the fruit from his sibling. Their eyes met in a way that both intrigued and slightly surprised the wizard. It was more than just a brotherly affection he saw there. 

Fili took a chomp of the apple, wiping at the juice that ran down his chin and into his beard with one sleeve. "You paid far too much for these, didn't you, nadadith?" Fili's eyes twinkled as he scolded his little brother. 

"One copper piece," Kili defended himself. It was actually three copper pieces, but if he said that, he was in for a lecture. The lady behind the stall looked like she could use the money, and he just hadn't had the heart. "That's not so bad. Besides. It's a gift, which means it's impolite to ask after the price. Eat up." He reached up and wiped up a bit of juice that had spilled on Fili's overcoat. "You'll need it. What are you thinking, going on patrol without food in you?"

Fili patted his belt. "I have jerky with me. And water. I'm not a complete dolt, Kili," he told the brunet. "Will you be awake when I get back?'

"Probably," Kili shrugged. "If I'm not, you'll still wake me. You always do. How many times have I been telling you to remove your boots and gear outside the room?"

Thorin had offered them both separate quarters, quarters befitting of princes, but Kili had come up with six reasons why that wasn't such a good idea. At least he had one to balance that number out.

"Now come on, my shift starts in half an hour and I'm nowhere near the posts. If offering to walk with me means you get me there late, this is the last time I'll be walking with you."

Fili's eyes swept over Kili's face. "I'm sorry about the noise," he apologized. "I'm just so tired when I get home some nights."

"Kili?" he ventured, putting a hand on his brother's bracered forearm.

The youngest looked the hand, then at him with a confused smile. Fili looked uncharacteristically serious. "Yes?"

"I just," the blond frowned and looked with distaste at the open city gate in front of him, "I wish I were coming home right now—instead of leaving." He chuckled. "Don't tell Uncle I said that."

Kili laughed quietly, though he didn't get it. "Aren't patrols fun? I hear the soldiers brag about the stories told during border patrols all the time. I wish I could come."

"It's so boring, Kee," Fili frowned. "I can think of a score of things I'd rather being doing. At least if you came along I'd be assured of having fun."

"The guards do say they're glad to see me every time," Kili said with a bit of pride. "But this way, as soon as you're home, at least I get to claim all of your time." And nobody would look at them twice, Kili did not add. "It's just for a couple of days. Can you try to see if there's good material for a bow there? I heard the strength of the wood is much better up there."

"I will," Fili smiled. "Something supple, but strong," he added, but his eyes never left Kili's, "I promise."

They reached the guard posts at the Northern edge of the city. "This is where I'll be," Kili stopped. Above them towered twenty feet of stone. The only stone of the city, as well as the newest addition. Dragonfire had laid waste to the region; they had learned. Kili pulled his brother into a short, firm embrace and patted his back to diminish the sentiment. "I'll see you in a couple of days, brother. Be vigilant, so that I don't have to do my job."

Fili held on for just a moment longer, allowing the scent of Kili's dark hair to linger a bit in his nostrils. "One of these days," Fili smiled when he pulled away, "you _will_ be put to the test." He patted Kili's shoulder warmly. "I'll see you a few days hence."

"And when I do, you'll see that I pass it easily." Kili nudged him again. "But the day I do, it means they'll have broken through your defenses, so I pray that day will never come."

That said, he hopped onto the first of the stone steps, bowed theatrically to his brother, and vanished behind the large painted door.

The water of the pool troubled, the image fading. Alatar leaned back. He'd seen enough, more than enough. If he moved swiftly, he could be in Erebor in three days' time.

\- - - - -

The patrol was uneventful, both the first and second night. Looking out over the large plains north of the foothills of the mountain, there wasn't a chance anyone could pass by here. There were no trees, nor any slopes to hide behind. Any trespassers were seen before they set foot within the archers' reach.

Which was why the third night, the night before Fili could return home, when the camp was suddenly alerted, many assumed it to be a false alarm. Probably a squirrel.

Swords drawn, Fili strode towards the source of cry he'd heard. Before him, half hidden by a rock, was an elderly human woman. 

"H-Help me," she begged, weakly extending a hand to him. "I was robbed, beaten," she told him. She was bleeding from a wound on her scalp and no doubt a score of other unseen injuries. Her mount, if she'd had any, was nowhere to be found.

"I've got you, madam," Fili sheathed his swords and knelt next to her, pulling a medical kit from his knapsack. "Fili, of Durin, at your service," he told her. "We'll have you set to rights in no time."

She looked up at him most vulnerably. When they tried to walk, she cried in pain. It was a good thing that soon the camp had settled down, because supporting the elderly woman like he was now, there was no way Fili could cope with fighting off a threat.

Very soon the stress of the situation seemed to wear off, because she moved lighter now. Her breaths still came short and shallowly, a sign she was still hyperventilating or in pain around the chest area, but it took them less trouble to get back to the encampment.

The others surrounded them at once, the moment they became aware of Fili's plight. "What happened to her?" one asked. "Who is she?" asked the other. The third, a young human boy hardly an adult, posed the most valid question of all. "What is she doing here?" But none of them held an answer, so she was escorted to the main tent and laid down on a bedroll.

"Young man," she reached for Fili's wrist as the others filed out. "I am greatly indebted to you. Had you not found me...Tell me what you seek in this life most of all, and I will see if I can make it so."

"Madam," he replied gently, "my life has been a life of privilege. Even in the darkest times, I've always had my family and friends with me. I recently helped slay a dragon and survived a horrible battle where I should have rightfully died many times over. I have all the gold I could ever possibly need," he told her. "Truly, there is nothing I wish for right now except your speedy recovery, so we can return you to your people."

She observed him closely. Then her head shook. "My time will come soon, no matter the outcome of tonight. I am thankful enough not to end it under the sky with nothing but the stars as its witness. Tell me, young man. I'm sure there's something you desire. Someone, perhaps? Ask it of me, and I will give you my word, I will make it so."

Fili chuckled. "Unless you are some sort of apothecary who creates love potions, there is little you can do for me. I feel as if everything in my life is as it should be. I am very blessed," he told her. "Wonderful things are just on the brink of happening."

"There _is_ someone then," she smiled. In her eyes reflected the fire on their left, but oddly—like more light was absorbed in the dark of her pupils than reflected on their glassy surface. Yet she looked harmless. "There is no thing such as a love potion. Those are stories fed to children when they're hopelessly in love and believe there to be no hope. There are, however, sure ways to win a person's heart without deception. And do not so lightly deny the power of a blessing. What is her name?"

"I wish not to speak of it," Fili told her, growing uncomfortable. "Our love is blossoming, yet it is forbidden. Please, let us speak of something else. _Anything_ else. Where is your family? Who did this to you? Why were you on this dangerous road all alone?"

He didn't see where something changed. All Fili knew was that one moment, he'd been looking at a vulnerable old woman, close to her death, had it not been for him. The next moment, she was no longer there. In her stead stood a tall man, nearly twice his size, with a far less benign look upon his features. "I was alone because I chose to be," the man spoke. In his words clung a threat. "Nobody did anything to me, and there is no family, for I've walked Arda for as long as your friend Gandalf has, and yet he remembers not my name."

Fili's throat constricted, and his feet turned disobedient when he wanted to turn. The fire behind the man roared up. Then, all was silent. Not a bird sang, not a guard spoke. When Alatar spoke, his lips did not move.

"You will have what you want," he inclined his head. "After all you will do for me, I must offer you that much. You will see through my eyes, hear through my ears. But you will not be there." The man's countenance shifted. His long robes cascaded on the ground while he shrank in size until he was Fili's height. Then the change continued. At long last, Fili's mirror image looked back at him. "And you will not be able to do a thing."

Fili let out a gasp of astonishment. He wanted to both step forward to examine his new twin, and in the same breath turn and flee. As it turned out, he could do neither; his legs felt leaden. By admission, he was in the presence of a powerful wizard. 

"W-what do you want?" he asked his doppelgänger. 

"Entrance," the twin spoke back at him. "And then ruin. And when all is done, I will take what I came for, as it will be given to me willingly."

"No," Fili said, gently but firmly. "I won't let you harm my family or undermine our kingdom." 

His trembling hand strained to reach his sword.

It took a single, inhuman sound of laughter—the last of Alatar's own voice, before that too was masked by Fili's—and Fili fell to the ground. Alatar crouched in front of him, sat on his knees, and tipped Fili's chin up to face him. A corrupted smile twisted his lips. "I believe you don't understand. You are mine, Fili, son of Dain." As easily as that, he forced his lips onto Fili's and demonstrated with the look of a man as power-hungry as he was powerful how helpless Fili was. He couldn't move a muscle. 

In fact, his traitorous body leaned into the kiss.

Revolted and terrified, Fili trembled in fear. He couldn't speak, no matter how hard he tried, nor could he raise his arms to push Alatar away from him. In fact, he felt himself growing weaker as Alatar only grew in strength.

 _He's going to Erebor,_ he surmised. _No…_ he realized, I'm going to Erebor. By Mahal, what is he planning?

The world was still quiet around them when his twin procured from his long robes an ornate flask. Removing the stopper didn't give the sound it should give, and from it fell a dark liquid, almost black, that never seemed to run out. Soon the murky liquid gathered into a pool, unabsorbed by the loose soil beneath it, and shimmered in the light of fire.

At long last Alatar put the bottle back in his robes. He crooked a finger in Fili's direction. His legs walked to the edge of the pool on their own accord, before stopping at the rim. On the other side, Alatar closed his eyes. A small whisper echoed between them—the robes were no longer robes. His clothing changed to match what Fili had been wearing, just as Fili now wore an otherworldly cloth around his frame that provided both warmth and cool, and was far too big for him.

Alatar reached over the pool.

"It's your brother, isn't it?" he whispered into Fili's ear.

Then he yanked him forward, into the dark.

Fili felt nauseated and time became disjointed. He soon realized that he was trapped behind an opaque gray wall in a small cell of sorts. He could see through the murky depths... as if he were seeing through the eyes of the wizard pretending to be him.

"Please!" he cried out at the top of his lungs, remembering Alatar's final threatening words. "Not my brother!"

But no one could hear him.


	2. His Brother's Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alatar, disguised as Fili, tries to fit in in Erebor. He's fooled nearly everyone... but the most important person in his life.

\- - - - -

Kili looked up at the ceiling and frowned. He knew it was well into the night of the fourth day, which meant that at any time now, Fili should be stumbling into their chambers and removing his boots and outer layers of clothes where Kili could hear it, waking up from it. The door remained firmly shut and their chambers silent, save for his own frustrated breaths.

Eventually, Kili heard Fili removing his armor outside the door to his bedchamber, as he promised. Yet, the unbuckling of leather and shedding of chain still had a very distinctive sound that he recognized immediately. Fili was humming an old folk tune that Kili hadn't heard in years.

The blonde entered moments later in his small-clothes. "I am _desperate_ for a bath," he smiled at his younger brother. 

"Fili!" Kili bounced up like a man awake all night in anticipation. He quickly reminded himself to turn it down a notch, but his smile still betrayed him. "You want me to run you one? The faster you're done making noise, I get to go back to sleep," he poked fun. It was obvious to the both of them that Kili had been waiting up. Kili was off before Fili could stop him, lighting up the hearth, causing himself to squint at the intensity of the warmth, and pulling a large bathtub forward to bask in the warmth of the flames.

"You're late," he said over his shoulders. "Do you plan on getting a bath in your clothes? You're always so lazy, brother."

"Yes," Fili admitted, "and I will admit I'm mostly to blame. We found an old woman injured on the path today. We ended up taking her home to be with her family. It's the reason I'm so late," he undid the lacing on his small-clothes and let the skimpy garment fall to the rug in front of the fireplace.

Alatar was glad Fili had such a fit body. It was evident in the way the young one's glittering eyes ate up the golden lines. "I know full well you would have done the same thing," he told Kili. "Am I right?"

Kili blinked out of it. "Of course," he said quickly. "Was she okay? What happened to her? You're not hurt, right?" Not that Fili looked hurt, Kili instantly berated himself. "Come here, I think the water's still warm."

Fili slid into the lukewarm water. "I just need to get the dirt of the road off of me, brother," he told the brunet. "It feels wonderful." He reached for the cloth on the edge of the tub and began scrubbing himself, then slipped beneath the water to wet his hair.

Without needing the confirmation, he knew Kili was looking at him, yet when he resurfaced, his brother had moved away. "Come to bed when you're done," he called out. "Tell me what happened." That said, Kili lay down on his bed and continued staring up at the ceiling, only this time, his heart beat a number of times faster than it should be beating.

He willed himself to calm down. Without Fili naked and wet before his eyes, it was easy to ask himself why he'd ever allowed these feelings to develop. Nothing could come of it, no matter how many times he liked to imagine it could. He'd be better off thinking of one of the lasses Thorin frequently nudged his way. He wasn't the crown prince and their kingdom was prospering, so at least his uncle never made things awkward by only pushing forward the ugly, political matches.

"She'll be all right, won't she be?"

"The woman?" Fili asked dismissively. "Oh yes. Right as rain. We took her back to her village and she's getting care." Alatar reached up and felt the hair clips in Fili's hair. Did he remove these, he wondered, before sleeping? Alatar decided yes, and plucked each one out, laying it on the edge of the tub. The unbraided locks curled becomingly and he smiled. 

This was going to be so, so easy.

He got out of the tub and toweled off, knowing full well the other was admiring the way the firelight glinted off his compact body.

When he moved in the line of Kili's sight however, Kili frowned at him. "What's with your hair?" he asked. Fili hardly ever took his hair beads and clasps out, and he certainly never did that at such an early hour when he could be sleeping instead. "Did you get sand stuck in the clasps?"

"It's a right mess," Fili shrugged. "You'll re-braid it for me in the morning, right, nadadel?" Still naked, he crawled into the other side of Kili's bed and lay down, making no move to pull up the covers. "So tell me… what have you done while I was away?"

Kili shrugged, but his eyes widened. Fili also never lay in Kili's bed naked as the day he was born. Maybe the old lady had died after all, and Fili was sparing his feelings. Maybe that was why he was acting slightly out of sorts. "All right. And not much, truthfully. I tried to work on haggling. Didn't work, but I'm sure you could have seen that coming. There was an envoy of men yesterday. Uncle wanted me to be present. It was nice, I suppose. That's not important. Something happened with you. Tell me."

"Aside from the old woman, nothing happened. I swear to it," Fili propped his head up on one arm. With the other hand, he reached over and moved an errant lock of hair out of his brother's face. 

Behind his murky prison, the real Fili seethed.

"The road is a lonely place, Kili," the imitation Fili told him. "Being away… it makes me appreciate you all the more. I swear, you've grown a bit in the four days I was gone."

"You're telling me I ate too much again, right?" Kili snorted, in order to mask his confusion as well as his nervousness. The expression soon softed. In the dark of the room, his voice was warm when it spoke next. "I'm glad to have you back too. Next time, I'm coming along. The outposts are fun, but they're not... important."

All they ever did at the post was play games to pass time.

"No, I mean it, nadad," Alatar lay a soft hand on Kili's waist as an imprisoned Fili groaned and shouted out in despair. "You look older. Perhaps your beard has gotten longer?"

Automatically Kili's hands moved to touch his beard, or the start thereof. It seemed to be just as long as it always was. "I don't want to be older," he shook his head. "If I'm older, Thorin will expect me to find a spouse, settle down. I'm not ready for that, brother."

"And I am?" Fili scoffed. "Fie on that!"

"Fili..." Kili was worried now. If anything, Fili was loyal. If Thorin would ever ask it of him, he'd lay down his bachelor days in a breath. He wasn't Kili. "Perhaps you should get some sleep."

"You waited up for me and all you want to do is sleep?" Fili frowned. "Are you feeling all right, Kili?"

That set off alarm bells. Kili looked at him closely. "You know I don't like this room empty. I've waited up all night for you, but I'm sleepy. And you should be too. You're on edge."

"Yes," the blond conceded, "perhaps you're right. Too many nights of sleeping on a hard bedroll has made me cantankerous. Good night then, Kili," he rolled over, his back to the younger dwarf.

"You're sleeping here?"

"Is that all right?" Fili wondered. "There's plenty of room. I thought you'd missed me?"

Kili felt lost. He sat up, looking down at his brother beside him. Normally, he would pull him closer, wrap one leg around him and hold him there until either of them stopped caring to move. This time was different. The things Fili said, they were wrong. Something was fundamentally strange. The Fili he knew would never word things like that. _I thought you'd missed me?_ He would never assume, and he certainly would never use it against him so sharply.

"I did," he whispered quietly, lay back down and turned his back to Fili.

Things weren't right.

In the dark place where Alatar had imprisoned him, Fili was bursting with joy.

"It's not as easy as you thought it was going to be, is it?" he said aloud to no one in particular, although he hoped Alatar could hear him. "You leave my brother alone, you dirty old man!"

"Dirty old man?" echoed the chilling response.

The Fili lying next to Kili rolled over to face his sibling's back. "I'm lying here because," he began, "because I really missed you, Kili," the blond reached out a hand and put it tentatively on Kili's shoulder. "I just wanted to be close to you. That's all. I know it's awkward. We don't _do_ this, do we?" he chuckled. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"...You're making me uncomfortable now," came a very quiet response. "Let's just give it a rest. I'm sure we're both just tired. Please."

"All right, Kili," the blond pulled his hand away as if it had been burned. "I'll see you in the morning." He got up and exited the room, closing the door behind him. Thankfully there was no one in the torchlit hall, so he as able to make it to his own bedchamber naked, but unseen. "Good things... they take time," Alatar said to his reflection in the looking glass near the door to his room.

Neither him nor Fili saw Kili as he pulled the blankets up higher over himself and stared at the wall. He shivered. Something was wrong.

He'd never been scared of Fili before.

Alatar lay in Fili's bed, the young dwarf's arousal hard in his hand. It wouldn't be such a hardship at all, having to fuck the dark haired one, he thought to himself, imagining the intensity of those ebony eyes locked on him as he thrust into that warm heat. He was surprised when Fili's cock erupted warm seed all over his hand.

He'd forgotten how wonderful it was to be young.

\- - - - -

But in the morning Kili still avoided him. Not actively—he'd never do that to his brother—but he was gone at the first break of day. Their chambers were both equipped with a reflective light vent that reached all the way out of the mountain, allowing him to wake at daylight instead of the artificial lights they'd built into the depths of the mountain. Two hours later, when Fili finally woke, Kili had already found himself a pony and joined Dwalin and Balin as they travelled to a small settlement of men just outside Laketown to inspect some matters that he truthfully didn't care about, but which could give him some piece of mind.

"You look tired, lad," Balin looked him over. "Are you sure you've got business where we're headed, or does something else weigh on your mind?"

Kili looked at the road. Gravel moved under the weight of the pony. He liked watching it. "There's no business," he said at last. "I just wanted to get out of the mountain."

In front of them, Dwalin laughed. "You’ve got a lass with child, haven't you? Well, good. Your uncle would be proud."

"Proud?" Kili stared aghast at a back that didn't turn. "Of course I didn't."

"Of course not," Balin shook his head and smiled apologetically. "You must forgive Dwalin. He's never been in the position to court anyone. What we're both saying is, it would be wonderful if you found someone."

That shut Kili up. With a shake of his head he indicated it wasn't so, but his mouth was too dry to speak, and his throat felt like it wouldn't let the words through. Balin only needed a glance before he sighed knowingly. "Come along then," he said, "and perhaps you'll find a distraction for your troubles at the mountain today."

They didn't return until well past dinner.

That evening, Kili found his brother, uncle and a few others sitting at a table with two large mugs of ale, laughing uproariously. 

"And then," he heard his brother telling Thorin, "he fell right off the back of his pony!"

Thorin let out another guffaw and clapped Fili on the back.

"Brother!" Fili raised his mug in greeting to Kili. "You've been gone all day. We were thinking of sending a search party if you hadn't returned by nightfall."

"Then, of course, we got to drinking," Bofur explained, and laughs ensued all around.

"I went with Balin and Dwalin," Kili said, wary despite the joyous sentiment at the table. He sat down and claimed himself a mug of ale, leaning back in his seat. His eyes kept returning to his brother, trying to gauge him, but other than that Kili remained passive, speaking only when spoken to and laughing when the others were.

It wasn't that he didn't like seeing Fili again; it wasn't that at all. Next to him, Gloin kept bumping his shoulders and trying to drag him into the conversation.

"Dwalin been giving you a hard time again?" he asked conversationally, a slur in his voice.

"Not more than usual," smiled Kili. "What were you talking about?"

"Oh," Fili put a plate of mutton and potatoes together for his brother, adding a few berries from a nearby dish, and pushed it towards him, "I was just telling them a story about something funny that happened on patrol a few days ago. "Sildi fell from his pony after a rabbit startled him," he told him quietly. "It was funnier the first time," he shrugged.

"His tailbone's still aching, I'd wager," Bofur wiped foam from his mustache. "Lads, I've got to get going." He rose, unsteadily and chuckled.

Half of the company complained at that; the other half told him it was well overdue, as he'd drunk too much already. Kili laughed at the noise around him. "Stay awhile," he tried to convince the red-nosed dwarf, who was easily persuaded but pushed forward by Bifur, who decided silently that enough ale was enough ale.

As soon as the rowdy dwarf had left their company, Dain slammed his hand on the table. Those pints on the table that were empty bumped up. "Another round where that came from!" he roared, to which the others raised their half-full pints and bellowed a loud "Aye!" in response.

"Thanks," Kili turned to Fili, taking the offered plate. "Pity I missed it."

"You didn't miss much," Fili's eyes twinkled merrily. "Just a bunch of old dwarves drinking."

In his prison, miraculously, Fili was receiving not only sustenance from everything Alatar ate, but was also feeling the heady effects of the ale. Being slightly tipsy made him long for his brother all the more. "Oh, Kee," he sighed, "please be smart. Don't him fool you. Don't let him get to Uncle."

Kili heard none of his pleas. Instead, the welcome from his brother made him feel much more at ease, even if he still chose to stay on the other side of the table from him. Encouraged, he lay into the food and said with his mouth still full, "Dwalin felled three pheasants today with one hand. It was such a mess, blood everywhere. He's probably still scrubbing everything off in one of the bath houses." He winked. The bath houses was a frequently used euphemism for something else entirely.

"Speaking of missing company," Fili leaned forward, "has anyone seen our Hobbit?"

"Oh, he's away. Gandalf paid us a visit this afternoon and offered to take him on a trip of a few days." Thorin contributed earnestly to the conversation for the first time. "Our burglar won't be able to make it for a few days."

"Gandalf? But Gandalf's been away for weeks. I thought he wouldn't come back."

Thorin turned to his youngest nephew. "He said he was in the neighborhood. I suspect you two might be able to persuade him into fireworks for Durin's Day, if you're smart about it."

Kili exchanged a look with Fili. _Definitely,_ that look said.

"Well, that certainly throws a bone into your works, doesn't it?" Fili taunted the wizard from his lonely prison. "You'll have to wait until Bilbo returns to try and take the ring from him.” 

Fili didn't know quite _how_ he knew it, but somehow he possessed the knowledge that Bilbo's magical ring was the true reason Alatar had infiltrated Erebor.

 _Never you mind that, my golden bird,_ Alatar returned fire. _I'll just spend the time getting better acquainted with your uncle... and your lovely, lovely brother_.

That served to shut the brat up, and Fili retreated to a corner to stew as Alatar continued to use his guise to make merry with his family and friends.

At the end of the night, Kili was fairly affected by the ale. As he got up to announce his departure, he almost fell over the table and laughed just as loudly as the roar of amusement coming from the others around the table. "-leep late t'morrow," he slurred. "Thank th'eavens." With a merry smile, he bowed deeply and waved his hand about for Fili. "Help yer brother to's room?"

Thorin looked at him with equal parts annoyance and mirth; he was his family after all. When Kili stubbed his knee against the table and fell forward on the table in drunken laughter, he couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"Help the boy up," he ordered Fili. "He needs it."

"Of course, Uncle," Fili stood. "I'll take good care of him," he assured the company as they parted. The blond slid easily in under Kili's left arm, supporting him at the waist as they walked. "I've got you, nadadith," he said gently. "By the maker, how much did you _drink_?"

The response was a lazy chuckle. "It was good," was all the coherency Kili could muster up. He leaned heavily on Fili and let him drag him up the steps to their chambers with relative ease—his dead weight excluded. Kili was always the lightweight between them; just three pints could get him like this already. The dark of his room did him well. The impending headache felt less prominent now, as Kili flung himself onto the bed and sighed out.

"The world stopped moving." At last.

"I thought dwarves could hold their ale better," Fili scolded him as he pulled off his brother's boots. "This one certainly can," he added. "Let's get you into bed, ghuregâl."

"Feels good though," Kili reasoned. He closed his eyes and lazily raised first one leg, then the other in assisting his brother. With all of his remaining gear still on, he nudged Fili. "Go back, 'll be fine."

"Uncle bade me to take care of you, brother dear," Fili undid Kili's belt and slipped it out from beneath him. "It would be remiss of me to do otherwise."

"I can sleep like this." To prove his point, Kili nearly dozed off. "'Don't need to take care o—oh, of me." He rolled onto his stomach, nearly trapping Fili's hand there.

"Silly Kee," Alatar rubbed Fili's hand gently down Kili's spine, pausing just above the swell of his buttocks. "I'll stay with you until you fall off to sleep."

In the dark of the night and under the influence of the ale, it wasn't hard for Kili to wriggle closer and bury himself against Fili's chest. Their height differences notwithstanding, it was a beautiful fit. Kili could lie like this all night. "It's only harder to fall asleep with you 'ere," he admitted. "Not fair, Fee."

"Not here to hinder you, Kili," Alatar soothed him, rubbing his back. "Just sleep. I'll be right here. Nothing bad's going to happen to you, nadadel."

Kili nodded. He murmured something incoherent, snuggled closer until the hold he had on his brother was strong enough to keep him there, and his breath evened out.

"Because you're here," he whispered.

Through the bond he was sharing with Alatar, Fili could feel the pride and arousal his double felt seeping. He buried his face in his hands, helpless to stop what the wizard was doing.

"Oh, Kee," he whispered. His brother was helpless right now, and so drunkenly trusting. "He's not part of your plan,” he told Alatar. “Please, don't hurt him!"

Kili pulled Fili closer against him and, sleep-drowsy, kissed his cheek.

Fili could no longer bear to watch. He curled up in a ball and fell into his own fitful sleep. 

He did not dream.

\- - - - -

"Fili."

Thorin's voice.

"You were expected to be in the great hall an hour ago."

When Fili squinted open his eyes, Kili was still latched onto him like a leech. On the seat opposite the bed, their uncle sat watching them. He wasn't angry, but he was certainly strict. "There’s an envoy I wanted you to meet. Get up and clean yourself."

"I'm so sorry, Uncle," Alatar was instantly contrite. "I was up quite late with Kili, as you can imagine, and I overslept." He extricated himself from his brother's grip and went to the wash basin. 

He looked quite a sight. He still hadn't figured out the intricacies of braiding his hair, and Kili had yet to offer. He wound up simply pulling two long bits back and securing them behind his head to keep the hair from his face. He quickly washed his face and checked over his attire.

"I'm ready, Thorin," he told his uncle.

Thorin looked him over once.

"No you're not. Did I not make myself clear? This is a formal visit."

"I...," the fake Fili looked flustered, "please, Uncle, allow me a few moments to go next door to my bedchamber and change clothing. What would you suggest I wear?"

 _I'm not about to help you, wretch,_ Fili chimed in, with more than a hint of amusement in his voice. _And your hair looks dreadful. I'd never go out looking like that. You will be found out, Alatar,_ Fili warned him. _It's only a matter of time._

"Do something about your hair first of all," Thorin looked him down. "This is unacceptable. You look like a beggar. You're a Durin, Fili."

Just then Kili woke up. With blurry eyes he watched the exchange, then sat up and croaked, "What's wrong?"

"You're the only person who can get my braids looking proper, Kili," Fili told him in exasperation. "Are you feeling well enough to help me now? Uncle has some dignitaries in the throne room he wanted me to meet and I look an absolute fright."

 _Worse than that,_ captive Fili confirmed. _I'm embarrassed for you._

"Right now?" Kili blanched. "I don't—I don't feel so well." By the pallor of his skin, he was well on his way to vomiting. "How long do we have?" He groaned. "Headache…"

"Oh, Kee," the caged Fili lamented his brother's sorry state.

"Oh, Kee," the fake Fili knelt by his brother's bed, mocking his captive. "Can we get you some herbs?" Alatar's biggest concern, right then, was for his appearance. "Uncle wants to whisk me away. Will you be all right, nadad?"

"Give me a minute," Kili looked up pleadingly. "I'll be fine, I just…got up too soon." He took six very deep, calm breaths, closing his eyes, and opened his eyes again at the seventh. All the while Thorin sat impatiently, but by the time Kili was ready, he was fairly fast. It was then that he noticed the disarray of Fili's hair. He sat startled.

"What happened to your hair?"

"Well, I slept here with you, and as you left early yesterday, it never quite got braided to my satisfaction. No one's as skilled at it as you are, you know," Fili said gently, as to not exacerbate Kili's headache.

"Can you?" he looked at his brother with pleading blue eyes.

"…Sure." Kili sat straighter. "Sit with me." He pulled himself up into a sitting position, ignoring Thorin's pointed look, yet asked him while his fingers carded through Fili's hair—so familiar was their feel to his fingertips—"I wasn't too bad last night…right?"

"You were very... amicable," Fili chose his description carefully as Kili's strong hands went to work. He shot an apologetic glance at his uncle, which was rewarded frostily.

"Thank you, Kee," Fili said, as his brother completed what as obviously a very intimate act between the two of them. Even his captive bird refused to sing in protest of the intimacy.

Thorin didn't say anything all the while. But when Fili was done and got up from the bed, without looking up, he spoke in a deep voice, "It's time you found someone else to do that for you, son. You're brothers. I can accept it only until a certain age. I had hoped you would have grown out of it."

Fili turned to fix Kili with an affectionate gaze. "I can't imagine anyone else doing it, Uncle," he said with a shrug. "Now, come, help me find something to wear to great our audience."

"And I suppose you will want to marry your brother, too?" Thorin's voice continued to grow more and more arctic.

Behind his prison, Fili raised his head to see his brother blushing furiously under Thorin's scrutiny. What was said in flippant jest proved a painful barb to his heart. For he would. He _would_ marry Kili, and live with him, performing all the duties of a spouse and partner. He wept and slunk away to the corner as Alatar scoffed.

" _Marry_ him?" the wizard chuckled at Thorin's assertion. "Although he would make a pretty lass, wouldn't he?"

For that callous remark, Kili quite literally kicked him off the bed with his foot. "I'm not a lass," he hissed. "Don't make me regret fixing your hair for you, or I'll give you my word I won't do it again."

Thorin raised a brow; Kili didn't notice. His words were only for Fili, who apparently didn't realize how much that one jest hurt him. Hadn't they always been equals? "You two have somewhere else to be. Don't let me keep you from it."

As Alatar left the room with Thorin to find something to wear, he turned and gave Kili an apologetic smile. This didn't stop Kili from laying back down sadly. He did not look well.

 _Just keep making him angry, just like that,_ Fili chided. _You have no idea how to talk to him, Alatar._

But Alatar had all the time in the world to learn.

"Are you two fighting?" Thorin asked when the heavy-set double doors leading to their quarters closed. They followed the path down to one of the main roads leading to the great hall. As it was still early, not many people were up and about yet. Those who did looked at them. Thorin was used to it. "He drank an awful lot yesterday. More than he usually does. And it's been a long time since I've seen him angry with you."

"He gets lonely when I'm sent on patrol and he's stuck at home guarding a tower," Fili repeated Kili's words to his uncle. "I think it bothered him more this time than most. Could he join me on patrol next time, Thorin? He'd really like that." 

He realized that Thorin was about to usher him into Erebor's throne room, and he raised his head proudly and smiled. _Oh, the places this body can take me._

A small grunt was given as reply. "...We'll discuss it later," and Thorin's neck too straightened like the king he was. A small envoy of elves awaited their arrival with both impatience and knowledge that they needed prudence, for the mighty mountain was not theirs, and they were only its guests.

As much as he loved his nephews, Thorin could not deny that as of late, they ought to have been growing apart, finding their own lives. They had reached the proper age. Had Thorin not tried to quicken that by assigning them both do different stations? Yet they'd only gotten closer.

"Lindir," he smiled courteously at the most prominent of the party. "I hope I did not keep you wait too long. You remember Fili, my eldest sister-son, do you not?"

"A pleasure to have you back at Erebor, Lindir," Fili nodded to the elf and his envoy. "To have all of you here to see Erebor being restored to its former glory under my uncle." He swept his hand to gesture at Thorin. "I couldn't be prouder of him."

Thorin looked proud and quite handsome in his crown and finery. Alatar made sure to keep his eyes locked with the king after his compliment, until Thorin looked away uncomfortably. 

"Come, walk with me," Thorin extended an arm after recovering, casting a furtive glance at Fili. This was...odd. "I have something to show you that you might find interesting. We found it when delving the upper chambers. I am sure it wasn't there before my kin were forced out of the mountain. Fili, come hither. It must be new to you too."

He led the gathering up out of the throne room, up until they reached a crude staircase hewn from the rock itself. "Careful of where you put your feet."

One by one, they entered a large open area at the top of the narrow entrance. Natural light flowed in through several openings, indicating they must be quite high up in the mountain, and a lush garden expanded before them.

"I wondered," Thorin mused, "Whether you know anything about this place. It's not Dwarven in nature."

"No," Lindir was captured by the peace of the garden, "it is not. When did you come upon this?"

"Only a few weeks back," replied Thorin. "Fili sees it for the first time today as well."

The look of wonder on Fili's face mirrored Alatar's own. Truly the architecture of Erebor was legendary. This particular room looked as if it might have been crafted by or for an elf. Perhaps long ago as a sitting room for when the elven delegation came to visit. 

Alatar decided Kili needed to see this room.

Thorin, meanwhile, had led them to a secluded gazebo, where he sat down. "You've come to discuss with me the treaty. I've recently learned to enjoy the peace of a garden as one of the many things taken from the influence of the Hobbit in our midst. Assuming you might appreciate it, I thought it to be best if we discuss it here. Should you want for anything, you may let me know. Fili, come sit with me."

While the elves looked out over the garden with amazed looks, Thorin leaned closer to Fili. "How do you like it?"

"I had no idea something this naturally lovely existed in these halls," Fili answer him honestly. "It's beautiful. What a perfect setting to bring our elven friends to."

Thorin grunted affirmatively. His eyes roamed the contentment of their guests. He knew he'd made a wise decision. While they talked among themselves, he turned to Fili.

"You want Kili on patrols with you. Are you sure he can handle it? Are you sure _you_ can handle it? Patrols are serious matters. If you want to bring him along only so it'll be more fun..."

"It's mostly because _he_ wants it so much. He feels there's much more he could be—should be—doing for Erebor. Sitting in a tower and waiting for something to happen isn't it. He should be taking a more active part of the defense of the city. When I am king, I fully plan to make him the Captain of my Guard," Fili told his uncle.

This time Fili had more than all of Thorin's attention. "This is the first time I've heard you bring up your future on your own volition." He watched him closely. "Good. But are you positive it is not merely because he wants to be around you? You've always been inseparable, but you're both adults now. If he wants to change his duty to be around you..." Thorin sighed. "It's time he pays others the attention he gives you, and that goes for you as well."

In his murky prison, Fili was devastated that Thorin and his double were discussing these very personal matters. His future and his brother were his, and his alone! 

_Be careful what you say, wizard,_ he threatened. _One mis-spoken word will tip him off and your entire plan will be destroyed._

"You are right, Thorin. Kili and I _are_ inseparable. But I am not biased when it comes to his loyalty or his skills. There is no one I would trust more with my own safety," Alatar told Thorin with Fili's voice. "Would you have it any other way?"

Fili himself was silent, for once in complete agreement with what Alatar has said aloud.

"Ah," Thorin looked down with a smile. "No, not at all. I will talk to Balin and see what I can do." Even as a king, he would not bypass his advisor and decide on a thing that was, from other undiscovered points of view, deemed unwise.

The company of elves at last seated themselves on one of the benches of the gazebo. "It is a marvelous garden," one commented. "It would be a waste to use it for discussion alone. By your leave, it would be splendid if we could visit these quarters again some day under less formal circumstances." They turned their kind expression on both Thorin as Fili. "But for now, we should talk about what we came here for."

Although Alatar had little to no desire to sit in on matters of state, he knew it was part of Fili's duty, and so he listened intently as the elves and Thorin hammered out a workable trade agreement and route through the Mirkwood.

They took a break and food and drink were brought in by a pair of younger dwarves. 

"Thorin," Fili took this opportunity of having his uncle's ear to himself, "I know it disappoints and frightens you... my closeness to Kili. You deem it unnatural. I understand this, I do. But he is of great importance to me. The most important thing to me. I cannot imagine another taking his place."

 _How dare you?_ Fili seethed. _How dare you tell him these things that are mine to tell, in my own time? If ever?!_ He paced angrily. 

A long silence preceded the answer. When it came, it was slow and calculated. Careful. "There comes a time when you will need a consort, Fili. Perhaps you feel this now, but wait until the throne is yours. When you meet your One. When he does. There is no hurry, of course, but you must be aware of what will one day be expected of you. All I can do is make it as easy on you as is in my ability."

"What if," Alatar leaned forward and nearly whispered to Thorin, "I feel that Kili is my One?"

"No!" Fili cried out, hands banging against the walls of his prison. "No, no, no, NO!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghuregâl - the drunk (one who's drank far too much)


	3. Captive Witness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From his prison, Fili is forced to watch his double do unspeakable things.

The temperature in the garden dropped so suddenly that some of the others looked at them in confusion.

"Do not say such foolish things. You are of the same gender. He is _your brother_."

"I am fully aware of both these things, Uncle," the fake Fili frowned. "But I cannot deny what is in my heart. Each day I am forced to do so is torture. I truly love him, Uncle. _Desire_ him, in un-brotherly ways."

Fili felt as a knife had cut him wide open and all his secrets were pouring out for Thorin to discover. He could barely breathe and felt himself sinking to the floor, Alatar's large robes puddling around him like a blanket. "Hate you," he whimpered. "Evil, spiteful...."

Thorin got up and tore him out of his seat by his arm at once. "With me," he hissed. They weren't doing this in front of their guests, still admiring the garden and by now casting the both of them odd glances. As soon as they'd found the privacy that Thorin needed, he strode closer briskly and slapped Fili in the face.

"You do not speak of such foul things," he hissed. "I cannot believe my ears. This is not the youth I raised in my sister's stead since he begged to be taken along on the journey, and as such I refuse to believe any of your words. What is wrong with you? How _dare_ you use your brother's name that way?"

In his dark prison, Fili felt the slap and reeled with it. He moaned in despair. His worst secret was being laid bare for his Uncle's judgment. _He'll never look at me the same way again,_ he lamented, _any pride he has in me will be lost._

Now that they were in a private alcove, Alatar turned Fili's sapphire eyes up to meet Thorin's. "Don't act so self-righteous, Thorin," he said coldly. "Those rumors about you and Frerin. They're more than rumors, aren't they? Don't act as if my admission shocks you." He moved closer and whispered in his ear. "I, more than anyone, know better."

"You miss it, don't you?" Fili purred, and leaned forward with a solid hand on Thorin's chest. "The strong touch of another male in just the right place? Do you long for him still? He looked so very much like me, Thorin. Would you turn me away, if I were to ask to take his place in your bed?"

The true Fili let out a horrified gasp and covered his eyes in denial, groaning out his shame.

Thorin pushed him away so roughly that Fili stumbled over his feet and fell to the floor. "Silence!" But his voice was hoarse. "How did you—how do you—no! I don't know what has gotten into you, but it ends here. You will cease this folly before you hurt others, or there will be measures taken."

He turned to walk back to the garden, but stopped at the entrance of the alcove and looked over his shoulder. "How can you speak of your One and then make such advances on me? If he was truly your One, you would never do so. You have no idea what you're talking about, Fili. You'll understand, one day, and then you'll wish you never acted this disgracefully. You're dismissed. Don't let me see you again today, nor tomorrow. And leave your brother be."

But Alatar was persistent. He knew he'd found a chink in Thorin's seemingly impenetrable facade. And was that lust that flickered ever so briefly over the king's features?

"But you _do_ know how I feel about Kili, don't you, Uncle?" he said, far more gently than before, "as you felt the same way for Frerin. Please don't disregard, dismiss or revile me for walking in your footsteps."

He leaned back against the wall, straightening his clothing. "We have guests, Thorin, so I will no longer speak of this. But I hope you have learned from this conversation one thing—I am more like you than you wish me to be."

"You are _nothing_ like me." Thorin looked him down with disgust. "What happened to you?" This was his golden nephew, the young lad eager to do everything right by him. Now he seemed to have no morals. "I never offered myself to another. Yes, Frerin was mine. It's a secret I must keep. But even if you look like him, you're nothing like him. Kili deserves so much better."

"You may be disgusted with my admission, Uncle," Alatar pointed one of Fili's fingers in his direction, "but you have no right to say anyone is more fit for Kili than I am. No one does—nor ever will—care for him as much as I do!"

On this point, Fili did not disagree with Alatar. 

"And this is how you show it," Thorin looked at the floor before Fili's feet. "If what you say is the truth, I pity your brother."

"And I pity _you,_ Thorin," Fili said softly. "At least I am willing to tell the truth about what I want."

He turned and walked back into the sunny garden.

Left alone in the shadowy corner, Thorin allowed himself to retreat further in order to think. He needed to do something. Fili was acting so unlike himself that something had to be wrong. Either way he posed a threat—if not for the peace of the kingdom, then to his own brother, whom he claimed to love like the other half of his soul, yet whom he'd immediately after offered to betray in favor of sins of the flesh with another. His uncle. While Fili did look exactly like Frerin in some ways, Thorin liked to look at those resemblances fondly. Not with suppressed desire like had been Fili's suggestion.

He knew two things very clearly; Fili was not himself, and Kili was in danger.

How he wished he could call upon the services of their burglar. Alas, it would be days until his return.

I'm the end, his feet took him to Balin, where he rapped thrice on the door and entered at once. Balin looked up at him in surprise. "Thorin?"

"It's Fili. Something is not right."

\- - - - - 

Surprisingly, it was Fili who ended up doing most of the hosting during that afternoon in the garden. Thorin had gone far off his game and lost most of his composure during their conversation. Their guests merely assumed the monarch was letting his heir stretch his legs. But Alatar knew the truth.

He'd shaken Thorin to the core. Rattled him.

Fili, behind his opaque prison, didn't help him out one bit, not that it mattered. Alatar had always been a sweet talker. The elves seemed to adore him. 

That evening, at dinner, Thorin brooded and watched him as he interacted with his brother.

While Kili was hesitant, after the morning's insult and the strange return after his patrols before that, he was drawn to Fili like a moth to a flame. Too much history between them made him think that Fili just wasn't feeling very well and needed his support. The two sat with pints of ale in hand, shoulder to shoulder.

Thorin shared a glance with Balin, who shrugged apologetically as if to say he truly did not understand why Thorin thought the younger of his nephews was in danger.

"Two more days, right?" Kili asked while they both watched a heated discussion between Gloin and Dori opposite them. "Before patrols, I mean. They stationed me at the South Gate for once. I'll be there the day after that, and then a week. At least they say there's lots of game there, so I get to get some bow practice. I'm looking forward to that."

"I think a part of your assignment is my doing. I told Thorin today that your talents were wasted sitting up a tower doing nothing but waiting," Fili leaned his elbows forward onto the table. "Clearly, he agreed with me. Of course, it probably didn't hurt that I told him that when I am king, you will be Captain of my Guard," the blond smiled devilishly.

Kili's head jerked to Fili's. "You told him that?" he asked. "But you won't be king for a long time." He wasn't sure whether to read it as a compliment or as leverage—somehow. "I haven't had much chance to prove myself as a battle strategist or warlord or anything."

"But I know that you _will,_ " Alatar said with a gentle surety... the exact tone Fili himself would have used. "And I know you'd be my strongest champion, nadadith." His blue eyes held Kili's for much longer than necessary. 

"You're trying to make up for this morning, aren't you?"

"Depends," Fili smiled. "Is it working?" he nudges Kili with his elbow. "Oh, Kee, you know I only made that comment for Uncle's benefit. I surely don't want you to be a lass! I love you just as you are."

Kili chuckled. "And did Uncle benefit from it? How? I'm sure he doesn't want me to be a lass instead."

"He knows, Kili," Fili said softly. "Knows we have a much closer relationship than most brothers do. And while we revel in it, many would find it shocking—especially those who do not know us well. It bothers Thorin for other reasons, of course," he sighed.

_Don't!_ Fili's small voice warned him. _Allow him this innocence._

The pint of beer was tipped precariously, ale sloshing quietly down Kili's throat. "... What are you trying to say?" There was a message in there somewhere. One did not tell a brother others thought they were too close as a prelude to a pleasant conversation.

"Just...." Fili sat back and eyed him warily. "Well, you're heard the rumors about Uncle and his little brother. Who hasn't? If they're true, he has no right to beleaguer us for our closeness. Right?"

"Nobody would beleaguer us for our closeness." While part of Kili hoped that that which Fili was referring to was what he'd been dreaming of for so long now—always assuming it was one-way and yet always hoping, hinting—part of him didn't like the way Fili spoke. He spoke like it, whatever it was, was a sin. Like they both knew it. He spoke in a way that pushed Kili away for his feelings rather than draw him in.

He spoke with judgment.

Fili never judged him.

Behind the opaque walls of his prison, Fili sulked. "You are a fool," he told Alatar. "You will turn them against one another. Chaos will accomplish nothing."

"Why are you looking at me that way, brother?" Alatar wondered, seeing Kili's expression. "How long are we doing to deny what we feel for each other?"

The wording was too direct, too impossible to misunderstand. Kili's eyes widened and he looked around. Fili wanted him. Felt for him. So why was he saying this in a crowded hall of all places, where everyone could hear and they could not speak freely?

"You're not yourself," Kili spoke incredulously. "I've never seen you so careless. Are you joking with me? Because I tell you, Fili, it's not funny."

Yet his heart hammered and it longed to believe.

"I am not joking, Kili. Although with you around, it's hard to be so serious," Alatar forced Fili's face into a soft smile. "But, look around. No one's paying attention to us." He leaned in and whispered. "Would you rather we go somewhere private? Uncle showed me the most amazing sight this afternoon. I'd love to show it to you by moonlight."

That felt more like Fili. Kili offered a smile. "You probably shouldn't have said I make you laugh if you're trying to make a point. But, oh, alright. Show me."

Fili knew where Alatar was going to take his brother, even without the assistance of their psychic bond. Ten minutes later found the pair in the garden Thorin had shown to their elven visitors that morning.

It looked different by moonlight—mysterious. Fili had brought a lantern just in case.

"What do you think? Can you believe this is here...in the middle of our city?" he asked his wide-eyed sibling.

Motes of light filtered through the trees, and myriads of tiny flying bugs swarmed in the air above a small pool. Kili ran to it in wonder. He kicked his shoes off, rolled up his trousers and walked into the shallow water, laughing at the pleasant feel, before looking up and around him. The garden was beautiful.

"How did you come by this?" he turned around and looked at Fili in amazement. "Who built it?"

"Thorin showed it to me for the first time this morning," Fili told him. "He brought the elven delegate here, to make them feel more comfortable. No one seems to know where it came from. Maybe, some time in the past, the dwarves and elves were much, much closer than they are now. It's hard to imagine after what happened to us in Mirkwood, isn't it?"

Fili walked to the edge of the water and sat down, watching his brother cavort with a smile. "I'm glad you didn't drink so much tonight."

Kili pulled him an amused face. "You probably would have loved seeing me tip over face forward, would you not?" He continued to stand where he was, partly because of the scenery, but in larger amounts because he felt too nervous to come closer to Fili than where he was now. "Does anyone know we're here? It looks like a forbidden place. I'm surprised there weren't guards."

Fili chuckled. "Why in Mahal's name would it be forbidden? It's just a garden. There's nothing of value here. Well, other than you and me."

"I don't know. It feels hallowed." And Kili was just standing barefoot in the central pool. "Like it's so pure it shouldn't be here. Does that make sense?"

"This is why I knew you had to see it," Fili smiled. "I remember how much you loved the beauty of Rivendell."

_No, you do not,_ imprisoned Fili thought angrily. _I remember, not you._

"Maybe our ancestors brought elves here long ago... to commune with nature, or whatever it is they do," Alatar shrugged Fili's shoulders.

Kili looked at him. Then he shook his head and laughed. "Commune with nature?" he snorted. "You'll be telling me they can talk to trees next." But it was beautiful. When Kili was done standing in the center of the pool, he waded further from Fili to the small island slightly to the north. There was a bridge there, but he was wet already anyway. "So when are you going to admit you want to take off your shoes as well?"

"Right now," Alatar leaned down and slipped off Fili's supple leather boots, putting them off to the side. He stepped gingerly into the pool. "It's colder than you let on!" he scolded Kili. "I'll get you for that!"

"Hah!" Kili ran onward, making sure he made it to the small isle before he turned around, crouched, and started splashing water at Fili, who was still in the water. It was funny how minutes ago, he'd been positive there was something going on with Fili. It felt just like normal. "Come then!"

"I promise, you will _not_ like what happens when I catch you," Fili panted with his exertion of trying to run through calf-deep water. "Or, perhaps, you might," his eyes twinkled with mischief.

As he sat, leaning back forlornly against the wall of his sterile prison, Fili was certain, at least, that _he_ would not like what Alatar was planning to do.

Alatar slogged through the barrage of water and tackled Kili to the soft ground. "Got you!" he breathed, laying flat on top of him.

Beneath him, Kili lay panting with laughing fits. "You got me." He would have raised his hands if they would have been free to move. "How what do you plan to do with me?"

"I'm not sure," Alatar teased him, wriggling ever so slightly on top of him. "What will you _let_ me do, nadadel?"

Fili couldn't bear to look, yet he couldn't look away, lest he miss anything. This moment was meant to be his. He felt as if his very soul were aching for what should be rightfully his.

Kili never noticed the difference. He'd gone silent, just as the air between them became electric. For a moment it looked like he was going to answer. Then he licked his lips, looked up at Fili's, and reached up.

When their lips touched, Kili took in a deep breath. He'd wanted to do that for years. They were finally alone, without anyone to condemn them. His entire body shook when he pulled away and large eyes looked up at his brother's, scared and yet hopeful of the response.

Fili just gazed down at him, loving eyes not wavering. "Mahal, Kili," he finally said. "I've wanted that for _so_ long."

"He's not me, Kili!" the true Fili said softly, knowing full well his brother couldn't hear him. "Surely you must know it. Must _feel_ it..." he sadly lay his head down on his arms. 

_You are quite the romantic, aren't you?_ Alatar taunted him. _Such longing._

Alatar raised one of Fili's hands to caress Kili's face in a way Fili had never allowed himself before—like a lover.

"Then kiss me back, lest I think you are nothing but sweet words," Kili spoke hoarsely. His fingertips flexed to touch Fili's wrists. "There's no-one here." Sand clustered in lumps in his hair and his limbs were cold, yet his heart was on fire.

In his prison, Fili’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears, wounded at hearing these words of desire coming from his brother's lips at last. He tried to take comfort in that they were meant for him. Yet, he wasn't there to reap the rewards of his years of longing.

"Don't hurt him," he begged Alatar. "There's no reason you need to do anything like that. It won't help you get to the ring."

Alatar slotted Fili's lips over Kili's and kissed him passionately, knowing full well that his arousal could be felt against Kili's hip. He pulled away with a grin. "Something like that?"

Kili wasn't smiling. "Like that," he whispered with a low, masculine voice. He might have ended up on the bottom between them two; he made no mistake that they were still equal. He didn't mimic the grin. It was no laughing matter how much he wanted this. With deliberate care he leaned up again slowly, his eyes fluttering shut and his lips parting. He couldn't believe Fili was kissing him.

No words were needed between them. Kili trusted Fili fully. So there had been tiny miscommunications between them over the course of the last few days. Perhaps Fili had been nervous. Perhaps he'd planned this for some time.

As Alatar used his own fingers to unbuckle and remove Kili's jerkin and the soft shirt beneath it, Fili mourned that he would never have this... this special first kiss with his One. For he had known for some time that Kili was his One. All the Uncle Thorins in the world couldn't keep them apart.

Fili blinked and two fat tears ran from his eyes. "Please," he begged Alatar. "Whatever you do with him... allow him to enjoy this."

The floor was cool to the touch when Kili's skin came in contact with it. He shivered, chuckled out of nervousness, and looked up at Fili. "Come here. Kiss me again." That's all he wanted tonight. It was nerve wracking enough to have just that, so new was all of this. With a smooth motion, he rolled them both over, bringing himself up top. "You are so beautiful."

Fili looked on in frustrated despair as the wizard ran his hands along Kili's flanks, thumbs stopping at the bit of padding at his middle that Fili loved so much. How long he'd waited for this. Waited for those words from Kili's lips.

"I'm so happy right now," Alatar said, as if to mock poor Fili further. "This is everything I have ever wanted. Everything, Kili." He spread his legs slightly to give Kili more room between them, and kissed him again, hands roaming into his raven tresses. 

In the depths of Kili's eyes reflected the look of infatuation, before lids hid that expression away beneath one of surrender. It was wonderful. Kili felt like a fool. He probably looked the part, as something fluttered in his stomach and the elation of pent-up emotions spread through his system. "I'll be your general," he whispered. "Just don't ever stop doing this. We'll figure out a way to persuade Thorin. I don't care. I won't leave you. Not if they promised me all the gold in the world."

"I have never felt any stirring towards gold," Alatar spoke words that Fili himself might have said. "Perhaps my curse will be in my love for you. Our family and friends must understand, and might—eventually—come to accept it. They surely love us already. This doesn't feel wrong, Kee," he told him, laying his forehead against his brother's.

For some time, Fili was forced to watch and bear witness as the cruel wizard and his brother exchanged kisses and endearments. The wizard did not take advantage of Kili, nor did he do anything to raise suspicion that he was kissing and fondling anyone other than his beloved older brother.

Fili's heart, for all the elation it felt for Kili, was breaking.

When they were gone for over an hour, lost in a world of their own, Kili finally nudged his brother gently. He had the look of a besotted man. "We should—we should do this again very soon. Absolutely. But I think we should go soon. They'll probably have figured out we've gone somewhere, and I don't want anyone to catch us here. It's too early for that." He stole another breathless kiss. Kili breathed like he'd just run a marathon. "Tomorrow? Before you go on patrol?"

"Yes," Alatar readily agreed as Fili sighed his displeasure. "Where shall we meet, brother?" He smiled and ran one hand down the center of Kili's chest, toying with the hair.

"Here?" the other asked him. His eyes scanned their surroundings, and Kili wouldn't have it anywhere else. There were one or two places he could think of—but anyone could find them there. He'd rather strengthen their delicate bond further before testing whether it withstood the prejudice of others. His own hand reached for Fili's and intertwined their fingers. "It makes me so happy to know you want this too."

Sitting up didn't snap the magic between them. "Walk with me?" Kili asked.

"Other than Thorin and myself, I don't believe anyone else in the kingdom knows this room exists," Fili said, blue eyes smiling. "It would be a perfect hideaway for the two of us," he added, as Kili led them back down the stone stairwell.

"Where are we going, nadad?" the blond wondered.

"Just our quarters," Kili tentatively reached for his hand. "It'll be our secret, then. Tomorrow." He bounced off the last few steps, waiting patiently for Fili and relinking their hands. The momentum made it so easy to just pull him further and drag him into a small alcove, where their lips met again. Kili fisted his older brother’s jerkin, pulling Fili flush against him.

" _Your_ quarters, I hope," Fili insisted, when they pulled apart. "I'd like to sleep there again."

But Kili shook his head, smiling. "Not tonight. I need some time alone to get used to this."

The wizard twisted Fili's features into a frown. "Ah well," he sighed. "I suppose it's best anyway. I'll see you at breakfast, nadad," he told the brunet, dropping a soft kiss to his cheek. "Tonight was... something I'd been wanting for a long, long time."

"There's no reason for such a sad face," Kili kissed him once again. "We've got the time. I want to do this perfectly this time. You're special to me, and not just because we're born from the same mother." _One of a kind,_ though it might be too early to bring into words. "I'll be looking forward to tomorrow night." He pressed his back against the door leading to his chambers and gently edged back.

When the doors closed behind him, he sank to his knees against it and looked at nothing in front of him, the most foolish look of a man in love out for anyone to see.

Behind the murky walls of his prison, Fili was heartbroken that his brother didn't realize something was amiss. How could Kili not know this impostor was pretending at being him? Was there really nothing that gave him away?

"Oh, Kee," Fili sank in a distressed heap. "I'm so sorry."


	4. Not Yours To Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin asks questions. Alatar makes a bold move.

Kili rose early the next day. He skipped down the stone steps to the main thoroughfare, making his way to the Great Hall with a bounce in his step. Thorin was only just preparing for the early hour of audiences when he noticed him. His eyes were glued to the overly happy presence of the youngest of his family.

Balin next to him stood laden with scrolls. Behind him, Ori sharpened his quills for the day. They both noticed him and stopped.

"By the Maker," Balin laughed, "it is good to see you today. You look different."

"Goodness, Kili," Ori smiled equally and turned a shade of pink. "You're practically glowing. Are you truly so happy just to be meeting the delegation from Rohan?"

Kili laughed. "That is today?"

Ori chuckled. "You've been waiting months to meet the famous horsemen, silly. And now you're acting like you're head over heels in love," he lined up his quills and began filling his inkwell. "Is that it, then? Have you met someone?"

Unbeknownst to them, Thorin's gaze raised to hone in on their conversation.

Kili didn't reply to the question with words. He didn't have to; it was obvious by his silence. "I forgot. But then it's good I woke up early, isn't it?" He sat down with a flourish on the armrest of Thorin's throne. "What time will they be here? They're staying a few days, right? Oh, I can't wait!"

"It shouldn't be long, now," Ori's grin at Kili's flamboyant behavior nearly split his face in two. "Dwalin's just ridden out to meet them."

Which was why Kili kept looking at the entrance. He felt his uncle's eyes on him constantly. That, and the new secret he couldn't tell anyone yet made him feel both nervous and very proud. "You'll be scribing?" he asked. "A big day." He couldn't recall Ori recording meetings from outside the mountain before.

But it wasn't long before what Kili was dreading occurred. Thorin came to him, in an unhurried manner. "Kili, lad," he began, "I couldn't help but notice your countenance this morning. You look beyond what one would normally associate with happy. Tell me, is there something I need to know?"

Kili sat up straight immediately, his smile dropping. In return came a very sincere, optimistic look. "It's...there's something, but it's still young. I wouldn't want to bother you with the details. I'm not sure what it is yet, myself." He watched Thorin's response closely. "Don't worry about it."

"I hope I'm not prying," Thorin's blue eyes focused on him intensely, "but I couldn't help but notice— _can't_ help but notice—the attentions that your brother shows to you, Kili. Is he in any way making you feel...discomfort or fear?"

"Discomfort?" Thorin had Kili's full attention already; now he had his concern. "Why would Fili make me feel uncomfortable? Why would you say that? You know Fili. He's your nephew." Yet his fingers shook. Thorin couldn't find out, not so soon. Kili knew they'd be kept apart if he did. He couldn't deal with that now.

Besides, why would Thorin associate Fili with discomfort and fear?

"What I mean to say," Thorin was clearly uncomfortable with the subject matter, "his... _advances,_ Kili. Of a potentially romantic nature. If he's making overtures and it makes you in any way feel discomfort, I hope you will speak to me of it. I would help you," he looked away nervously, "to make sense of it."

Kili was lost. "I am happy, uncle. Why do you say such things? And what do you mean, _make sense of it_?"

"So you aren't denying it, then?" Thorin nodded. "You're a good lad, protecting him as you are." He looked away uneasily. "And yet, he is your _brother_ , Kili. In full blood. No one can deny your closeness. Most are very covetous of what you and Fili share. But to be physically intimate with him," he sighed, "it can bring you a great deal of shame and dishonor."

"I haven't confirmed anything either. What is this? Why do you so readily assume it to be him? And why should that make me frightened, anyway? He's a great brother and a good friend. I wasn't aware you thought so lowly of him."

"I love Fili dearly, as a son, Kili...you know this." He leaned in closely, and whispered, "But I must tell you this, as one who learned far too well, first-hand, these things do not end well. I have been where Fili is. I had the opportunity to be a truly honorable big brother—and yet I let my own physical needs come first. Is he taking advantage of you, Kili?"

A sadness took hold of Kili. "No," he shook his head. "I do not mean ill, but this thing, I'm not even sure what it is, it makes me happy. So why can't you be happy for me? Fili would never take advantage of me. To think you assume he's capable of something that terrible...it's not like you. You're both acting a little odd." He almost didn't want to sit around and wait for the men of Rohan.

"Me? Acting odd?" Thorin grew to his full, haughty height. "Yesterday, your brother offered himself to me. Physically. Did he tell you that?" 

The king knew his secret would hurt Kili, and that type of hurt might keep him from thinking so highly of his big brother. Frerin's blind loyalty and adoration of Thorin had gotten him killed. Thorin refused to see the same thing happen to his beloved Kili. 

"Ask him," he said kindly. "There is more to your brother than you may quite yet understand, Kili."

"He wouldn't." Kili shook his head. Thorin lied. It wasn't possible. The more Kili thought about it, his big eyes aimed at the king in his throne, for once quiet and looking miserable, the more his own reasoning couldn't make sense. To suggest that Fili had offered to Thorin...that was preposterous. "If that's all you can come up with to drive a wedge between us," Kili spoke incredulously, "I think I should go. Stop telling me he's a monster. He's your other nephew. Shouldn't you be proud of him?"

He rose and left the hall with great strides. Balin and Ori’s eyes followed him in confusion.

"Oh, Thorin," Balin sighed, for he could see how all of Kili's previous glow had left him. "What did you tell him?"

"Nothing I care to share with the two of you," Thorin told them, in a much crueler tone than was necessary. "Just a matter of state he needed to hear about."

"He was so looking forward to this day," Ori said sadly, scratching his head in disbelief and looking after Kili's retreating form.

"I'm sure he'll return," Thorin told the redhead more gently, "once he calms himself."

Kili didn't return. He'd waited a long time to meet the riders of Rohan, despite his recent distraction, and when he'd been reminded that morning, it had only served to make the day even better.

He wasn't so sure now. Thorin had lied to him to keep him away from Fili—it wasn't Kili's intention that Thorin knew, but somehow he did—and it was that, topped with his utter disregard for his heir and Kili's own miserable expectation that this would be over before it had truly begun, that made him nauseous. Throughout the day he longed to be alone. Twice Ori came to his door, asking if he was sure he didn't want to come out and be there. The answer remained the same.

When night came, somehow, Kili dreaded it more. He couldn't keep this a secret. They'd have to talk about it.

The wizard wearing Fili's guise waited for Kili in the moonlight of their forbidden garden. Fili himself had given up trying to talk to Alatar. He only received taunts and jibes in return. He was helpless to prevent what might transpire between the wizard and his brother.

What neither Alatar or Fili expected was for Kili to come to the garden looking so agitated.

"Nadad?" Alatar stood up, moonlight glinting off his golden hair. "What troubles you?"

"Is it so obvious?" All frustration fell from Kili, making way for a feeling of defeat. "Thorin knows...he knows. He took one look at me and started about you." He edged closer until he was within Fili's reach, drawing into his embrace like they'd done it for years. Kili's eyes closed. "I knew he would find out, but I didn't think it would be this soon."

"He absolutely knows," Fili sighed into the embrace. "Because I told him...yesterday."

Kili pulled away from him. "You _told_ him? Yesterday? Why? And when? We were here until late."

"We spoke in the garden, during a break in the delegation," Fili tried to explain. "He was extremely disappointed with me. I told him because he asked me about it, and rather than lie, I told him the truth. I told him I felt you were my One. I rather hoped you might feel that way about me too."

"You—" Things clashed. There was the all-overwhelming message that Fili thought Kili was his One, which made Kili feel incredibly good and warm inside. But he had told Thorin before he'd told Kili. What had he expected? Permission? 

"Why would you tell him?" Kili looked at him desperately. "How could you do that? You ruined it before it could begin! I had to put up with our uncle calling you all sorts of things, telling me not to do this, and on top of that he makes up a ridiculous lie that you offered yourself to him just to pull us apart! Didn't you _think_ of what would happen?"

"He wouldn't leave me be, Kili!" Fili said angrily, obviously disappointed at his brother's reaction. "He kept asking me prying questions, making insinuations about our closeness. Finally, I told him he had no right to be so brazen, considering his past with Frerin. I realize it was horribly rude to bring that up... but it just came out of my mouth before I could stop myself."

Fili's shoulders slumped. "I had hoped he might crumble, admit to it, and accept the notion of you and me—together. Sadly, it had the opposite effect. He clammed up tight and swore to protect you from my evil inclinations."

Kili edged away from Fili now. "You could have told me. Aren't we in this together? Instead he throws allegation after allegation about you at me, like you're not his kin. Can you understand how painful that is? But Thorin doesn't lie, Fee, we both know that. He is stubborn and unmovable, but he does not lie. Did you offer?"

"It's not what you think, Kee," Alatar sputtered in his defense.

_Oh, you are really backing yourself into a corner now,_ Fili tossed in his two coppers.

"I was trying to make a point," the fake Fili backpedaled. "If Thorin were to find me attractive enough to want me, he'd have to come to terms with the idea of you and me. I know it sounds twisted and hurtful but I was just trying to be logical with him," Fili extended a hand to his distraught brother. "I would _never_ have acted on that request, Kee."

"You're not denying it."

Kili took another step backward. He nearly tripped over the irregular surface, catching himself just in time. Tears were threatening to blur his sight, although he fought hard to hold them back. It would not do to show weakness now. "It's called a One for a reason, Fili. Not Two, nor Three, nor Four. You offered him t—I think I'm going to be sick." Disgusted, Kili made to turn around. His heart threatened to burst from his chest if he didn't get away soon.

"Kili, _azyungal,_ " Alatar used the term for lover for the very first time. "Nothing happened. Nothing would have happened. I was simply trying to call up those feelings in him. I was trying to help him remember what it felt like to be in our predicament. I would have never...with Uncle? Never!"

_I don't envy you right now, Alatar_ Fili sat back, arms crossed. _He's good and upset now. What were you thinking?_

Kili wheeled around. "Don't you dare call me that! You have no right, Fili, no right! You know, I understand every one of his words now. _How could you?_ " He made his way to the stairs, getting further and further away from the shape of his brother.

Never had Fili been so callous with anyone. To do so now with Kili's heart of all felt like the worst kind of treason.

Alatar could not abide with being walked away from. But, more importantly, he was desperate to get his hands on the young, handsome dwarf.

"Wait! Wait!" he called after Kili, voice broken. "I'm so sorry, Kili. I was only trying to help him see. I know it was a horribly stupid way to go about it. It is _you_ and only you that I love. Please don't leave me!"

"Leave me alone!" Kili called without turning around or slowing down.

His One had just told him he'd offered himself to someone else. No one who felt the way Kili did, who knew he had a One and who it was, would have done that—would have even considered it.

Alatar decided a more aggressive approach might be in order, so he charged after Kili and tackled him onto the stone floor. The wizard winced when Kili's forehead struck the ground. He hadn't intended to injure him, but he'd caught him unawares.

"By Mahal, Kili! Listen to me!" the imitation Fili cried out. Straddling Kili's hips, he rolled his brother over. Kili's brown eyes were at half mast and blood ran from a small cut near his hairline.

In his prison, Fili surged to his feet. "What have you done?" he cried. "You promised not to hurt him!"

_I may not be able to keep that promise any longer, my golden pet,_ Alatar responded. He found he rather liked the feeling of having the helpless dwarf beneath him, eyes fluttering.

"Kili," Alatar leaned over the dazed dwarf, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I need you not to run away from me."

"Fili?" Kili whispered. He felt subdued, weak in his limbs, yet the accusatory tone hadn't left his voice. "Why? If you loved me, you would give me the space I need. What did you think I'd—oh." His vision shifted and his head lolled to the left. It took some time before his vision restored itself. "I don't feel good, Fili. Take me to a doctor. What did you—what did you do?"

"It was an accident, Kili," Alatar crooned. "I was just trying to stop you from leaving. I couldn't bear the sight of you walking away. It's just a little bump," he insisted. "You'll be all right, nadad. We don't need to involve a physician in this. Big brother will take care of you."

"If he says he needs a doctor, he must be feeling very poorly," Fili's voice was full of fear. "He hates being fussed over and avoids physicians if he can. Help him! Help him now!"

_I think I'd rather help myself,_ Alatar smiled at his own twisted sense of humor, and began unbuckling Kili's belt. He tossed it aside, reaching next for the drawstring of Kili's leather trousers.

The response was slurred. Kili barely tried to resist; he had no strength left in his body. "What are you doing?" he asked, tossing about weakly. His eyes were closed more often than they were open. Still, Kili knew they weren't moving to see a physician, nor did he sense a willingness from his brother to take him there.

Soon a primal strength returned to him. His body knew what was happening to it when his mind did not. Kili's eyes opened; sense of reason returned to him. He instantly tried to wriggle away in fear.

"Let go of me," he hissed with the wildness of a caged animal. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but you'll stop it right now!"

"I'm afraid not, Kili," Alatar continued to speak as if he were soothing a frightened animal. "You can't deny me, your big brother, of what is coming to me." He lay a hand on Kili's cheek and met his eye. " _You want this,_ ," he told him, and felt Kili's body relax somewhat beneath his as his persuasive tone took over. He began untying Kili's trousers. 

"No!" Fili cried, hands already bruised from hammering away at the walls of his prison. "You cannot do this to him!" 

Fili had nothing in his prison. He hadn't needed food or water for days. Somehow he was being fed vicariously through Alatar. Nor had he needed a bucket for waste. It was as if his body were in some sort of holding cell.

But he did know one thing. In order to _be_ him, Alatar needed Fili to be alive. It was his only recourse to save his brother. He found only one method at hand. Quickly, he removed the billowy robe and fashioned it into a long, thick rope. He wrapped it around his neck—once, twice—and began twisting it tighter and tighter.

As dizziness took over, he found himself sinking to the floor, and still Alatar continued to undress Kili. Could the wizard not feel it? Was his attempt fruitless?

Then, it happened. Alatar faltered, a wave of dizzy breathlessness crashed over him and he swayed. _What are you—?_ he wondered. Then it became clear. His captive was trying to strangle himself in order to sever the bond so Alatar wouldn't hurt Kili. 

"Oh no you don't!" Alatar gasped aloud, and Kili's eyes widened in confusion. For a brief second Alatar's eyes flashed red. He raised one hand and flicked his wrist forward. 

In his prison, a nearly unconscious Fili found himself being lifted into the air and flung against the front wall of his prison. Even though his temple and cheek struck the opaque wall with a resounding crack and he slid to its base, he didn't let up his grip on his self-made garrote. If anything, he pulled it tighter, gasping in pain.

Alatar gritted his teeth and flicked his wrist again, slamming the blond dwarf backwards, so that his body painfully collided with the rear wall of his prison. Fili's grip faltered. A third flick and the back of Fili's head was dealt a sharp blow and his hands fell away completely. Fili's eyes weakly sought out the sight of his brother as darkness encroached on his vision.

The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was his brother screaming for help and being silenced with a punch. 

At last, Alatar was alone with Kili.

The younger between the two breathed hard, his chest rising and falling. His eyes bore—no, not hatred. Kili could never hate Fili. But the betrayal mixed with a viciousness that gave him strength. Fili had drawn blood twice from him. The first had been an accident. The second, knuckles colliding with his jaw and splitting his lip, was not by chance. Fear was turning itself into hot anger.

When Kili lashed out, it was a feint. His hand was easily stopped by Fili's reflexes—his knee wasn't. It hit its target with a force that made him wince in sympathetic pain himself. "I said, stop it," he spoke quietly, using the momentary distraction to wring one hand free. It made him hopeful of getting out of this alive. "What's gotten into you? You can't get me by will, so you think you can have me by force?"

Kili pulled his other hand free, then toppled Fili off him. He looked down at his brother thinking he'd feel better, but the look of pain on his One's face only made him feel worse.

"I have to go," he whispered. Trembling hands hoisted his clothes back up. "Please leave me alone." With a turn he made to move away.

Fingers gripped his ankles, pulled him out of balance, and returned him to the floor.

"I _shall_ have you, Kili," Fili's voice and countenance were angry. "It matters not to me if by will or by force," he clarified. 

The blow to Alatar's crotch had been a painful one and it broke any will-bending spell he might have landed on the dark-haired dwarf. But this body...it was strong, and easily wrestled Kili back into range.

"I don't want to have to hurt you again, Kili," the wizard panted. "I like you. _Love_ you. Don't make me," Alatar leaned down and whispered into Kili's ear. "Let me love you. Let me show you how good it can be. Let's not fight, azyungal."

Kili shook his head violently, his eyes wide. "No!" He tried to get an elbow in the struggle. It was fruitless. In the mocking serenity of the garden, there was no one to help him. "This is not love," Kili let out, frustrated. "You'll regret this, Fili. Think. If you do this..."

If Fili did this, Kili would never forget it. It frightened him. It wasn't the idea of being forced down. It was the thought of losing control over the one thing that was his and his alone to give. It was the breaking of his strength, deliberately, to take what wasn't Fili's.

Nobody who truly loved someone wanted to break him.

Tears sprang into Kili's eyes. Fili still wasn't backing down. His voice was small when he spoke. "Don't you care that you're hurting me?"

"About as much as you care about rejecting me, it appears," Fili smiled cruelly. "What happened to the words of love and loyalty you spoke to me last night, near this very spot? We came to this very place to consummate our love, did we not? I fully plan to do that, Kili of Durin," Alatar planted both hands on Kili's chest and pushed him supine.

As lust coursed through the wizard, again that red glint came to his eyes. Kili couldn't help but notice it this time. "I hope you'll forgive me, Kili. I'm just not myself today," he chuckled at his own quip. "I will ask you one more time—will we do this painlessly and pleasurably, or am I going to have to hurt you, and your brother, more?"

"My brother?" Kili stared aghast. "You mean—"

A moment later, a fist connected hard with Fili's side, Kili not holding back this time. "Whatever you speak of, I will never be yours."

Alatar gasped in pain and smiled. "I'd be careful how aggressive you get, wildcat," he told the struggling dwarf, placing a hand on either side of his head. "Any act of violence directed at me also affects your dear big brother."

Alatar projected an image of Fili into Kili's mind. Clear as day, Kili could see his brother lying, apparently unconscious on his back in a grey-walled room. A long piece of dark blue cloth was wrapped around his neck; the rest of his clothing was gone. Blood ran from an injury above his right eye. As Kili watched, a deep angry spot the size of his own fist appeared on Fili's rib cage.

"Care to try for something worse?" Alatar pulled a dagger from his boot and handed it to Kili. "Stab me, perhaps?"

Like a man wounded, Kili cried out. He took the dagger from Alatar and adjusted his grip, ready to strike. In his head all the lethal spots of the body passed his judgment. Thorin had taught him most of those; the others came from Dwalin's shared combat expertise.

But if he'd hurt this imposter, he would hurt his brother. There weren't many non-lethal spots that could grant him control between them two that he could inflict on Kili. Whenever he thought of bringing him injury by his own actions Kili felt nauseated, like he was going against his very nature. No matter what he did, there were only two ways out.

It was Fili or him.

The dagger clattered to the floor forlornly, as Kili closed his eyes, his face contorting to fit his shame as he gave in.

"How long have you had him?"

"You honestly couldn't tell?" Alatar asked, pride in his voice. "I must be getting to be a better actor than I thought." He ran a finger down the side of Kili's face. "It was me who came home from his assignment in the field," Alatar told him. "Oh, he's feisty. He hates the fact that it was me who got your first kiss and not him.

"I wanted more," the wizard told him. "Still do, of course. But now that you know who I am, and what I have, you can be my partner in crime, Kili of Durin."

It didn't make sense. Kili's voice shook. "What is it you want?" He tried to get rid of the dreadful taste of blood on his lips.

"I don't want to hurt you, or your uncle, or undermine Erebor," Alatar leaned in conspiratorially. "All I want is the ring worn by the Halfling—the Hobbit. Once I have that ring, I'll be on my way. And I'll return your brother, of course. Will you help me, Kili?"

"The ring? All of this is because of a ring? This—," he looked between them, "—is because you want something from someone else, something you can't have?" Anger returned. "So this is a negotiation? I help you, or you hurt him?"

"Help me, and I'll get out of your life permanently, my dear little friend," Alatar cocked his head to the side. "I don't want to hurt your brother. I like him, I do. He's got a good, stout heart. But this ring..." his eyes grew alight with his desire, "acquiring it would greatly please my master. It's only a trifle to you and your family. You have rings galore in your treasury. Why is parting with this one a problem? Between the two of us," he put a solid hand on Kili's chest, "we can end this unpleasantness the very day the Hobbit returns to Erebor."

"We should end it now." At least Alatar had become distracted by his own story, allowing Kili the chance to move. He had no idea whether Alatar wanted to continue what he'd started or whether all that had been building up to this, to conspiring for the ring. Kili didn't plan to stick around and find out.

"Sorry Fili," he whispered, and he kneed the stranger on top of him just above his groin as hard as he could.

Fili, unconscious on the floor of his prison, felt no pain. Alatar, conversely, gasped in agony and clutched the afflicted spot, falling to his knees to catch his breath.

"The only thing you end," he gasped, "by not helping me, is Fili's life. Do you want that, azyungal?" he looked up with Fili's sad, azure eyes. "It will be _so_ easy to help me. Please think about it before you go running to your uncle or one of his friends. You know what I'm capable of."

"You forget he's no use to you dead," spat Kili. He wrestled them both around, knowing he was taking a very big chance by saying what he just did. Kili was a trained warrior. Sometimes people forgot, but he knew how to make decisions when there wasn't much time. He knew strategy, albeit scarcely. "Kill him and you'll lose every reason I shouldn't kill you right here. Whoever your master is, he should have thought better than to play his cards through dwarves. If a ring is that important, I believe it's safest with Master Baggins, not with the likes of you. And _stop_ calling me that."

Kili also knew how to render a man powerless by knocking him out.

"You're strong, Kili," Alatar praised the youth's prowess. "You are going to be a great Captain of the Guard someday. And you look so much like your uncle. Fili must be jealous of you for that," the wizard cooed. "I am loathe to kill your brother, of course. Who am I to kill a prince of Erebor? My master wants the ring. You want your brother. One golden trifle for another, nadadel," Alatar raised Fili's crotch, where arousal still came unbidden to contact with Kili's. "We won't hurt the Hobbit, of course." 

Kili shied away from the contact at once. "What's so special about the ring? Why do you want it?"

"Long ago in our history, a number of rings were made to ensure equality and peace among the good races of Middle Earth. Some were given to the men, to the elves, and even some to your Dwarven lords," he sighed. "It's a rather important ring, with a huge role to play in bringing peace to our time. It's hard to believe such a thing was lost in the depths of Goblintown, isn't it? A ring like that should be in the hands of a wizard who can keep it safe."

"Meaning you?" Kili's voice was full with disdain. "You, who destroy hearts to get to it? I don't think you're fit for safekeeping anything."

"That's where you're wrong, my young friend. I am a Blue Wizard," he told Kili. "A guardian of Middle Earth and a powerful magic user, as you have seen. You friend Bilbo is but a Hobbit who happened upon the ring by pure chance. He's small and could be easily hurt or killed. No one wants that, do they? But I..." Alatar stood proudly at Fili's full, but unimposing height, "could keep the ring safe for generations."

Alatar's words were impressive. Kili was not moved. He remembered all too well what the man who'd taken control of his brother's body had done in order to get it. They were less than noble means, ill fit for a guardian. "You took my brother hostage. You threatened to have me as him."

"But I didn't, Kili. I didn't take you, now did I? And your brother...well, I wouldn't have had to hurt him at all if he hadn't tried to kill himself. I was keeping him alive. The bump on his head will heal, as will yours. You will have him back, Kili. In your lovely kingdom, life will go on as it always has. You can be together; just like last night... but with _him._ Don't you want that?"

Alatar paced away and turned around in a swath of moonlight. "All you have to do is help me get that ring and your life will go on as before. _Better_ than before."

"Better?" Kili awkwardly tugged his clothing warmer around him. Part of him was glad that this wasn't Fili. He'd been so out of it, last couple of days, so much like a person Kili didn't want him to be. Kili hadn't changed. But that didn't make the man in front of him, whoever he was, look better. Fili had been bordering on cruelty. Kili didn't know much about the ring other than that it had helped them out of Mirkwood and, it was rumored, also when Bilbo had gone to see the dragon. It seemed important enough.

But it was just a ring. More important to him, without a doubt, than Fili. Kili couldn't speak for Bilbo, nor for Thorin, but didn't they want Fili to survive this either?

"How will it be better? And who is your master? Speak clearly."

"It will be better because you and your brother have already gotten past the awkwardness of that first declaration of feeling, and that first kiss."

Alatar didn't want to dwell on it because it only served to remind Kili that the kiss hadn't been with Fili, but an impostor.

"My master does not wish to be named. He is a powerful wizard. Perhaps the most powerful. I have but one task...one goal...and that is to bring him the ring. I suppose it might have gone better had I approached the Hobbit on my own, as myself. I certainly had no idea what I was getting into when I took on the guise of Fili of Durin. You are a complicated lot."

His words were well-spoken. It was easy to fall for it, though Kili shook himself awake quite soon. If he was a powerful wizard, he would have no trouble if Kili told Gandalf. And rather than help Kili and Fili, Alatar had created only a bigger wedge between them.

It would keep Fili as far away as he was now if he said that.

When Kili nodded, it was quietly and laced with falling from grace. He knew very well what he was doing; he was handing something powerful over to someone with bad intentions, someone who shouldn't get his hands on the artifact.

"He'll be back tomorrow. I will help you if you promise me two things. You will release Fili before I hand it over to you. I will see that he's safe and that it's him before I give you anything. And you will do nothing to hurt anyone else. That includes me. If you so much get a finger on me again, you will not know what happened to you, and your ring will be lost to you forever."

"I will not hurt you, Kili," Fili's face was so sincere and sad that it nearly broke Kili's heart to see it. "Or anyone else in this kingdom. It was never my intention. I will take you with me when we have the ring to where I am keeping your brother. I will release him and you will hand me the ring."

He raised a finger in warning. "However, this trust works both ways. Do not try to trick me, mislead me, or tell of my existence to your uncle or anyone else here in Erebor. I cannot kill your beloved brother, it's true. But I can hurt him...return him _damaged._ But I know it won't come to that."


	5. Sleeping Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili gets medical attention. Thorin gets angry. Gandalf and Bilbo return to Erebor.

"Come here, Kili," Alatar beckoned him forward, with a crook of Fili’s finger. "I will give you a gift of good faith. I will show him to you again. Would you like that?"

Kili stepped back. "There is one more condition." He looked away. "If I do this, you will not tell anyone of what I've done. He must never find out. And you will bring him to me. I won't give you the chance of locking me up with him instead. If those terms are agreed upon, we'll have a bargain."

"We will have to leave Erebor to fetch your brother. If I release him from his prison, my disguise will be forfeit and I will be found out. I can bring him to you, if we are away from the eyes of others," Alatar told him. "I'm not going to lock you up, little one," he chuckled. "I want the ring only."

Alatar waved his hand in the air and a shimmering circle appeared through which Kili could see into Fili's cell again. Fili had awakened and pulled the robe back on. He sat in the corner, knees drawn up and encircled by his arms, the cloth covering him from neck to toe. His head rested forlornly against the wall to his left.

A noise must have alerted Fili to the presence of that window to the outside. He turned his head slowly to see his brother. "Kee!" he cried. "Can you hear me?"

Kili rushed up to the window at the response. "I can!" he exclaimed, his momentary worries forgotten—though it pained him to see the state of his brother's sadness. "Are you all right? What happened to you? Where are you?"

"Can't bear to watch any more," Fili said despondently. "He's taken everything that was supposed to be mine. I'm sorry, Kee. It should have been me, not him."

"So weepy," Alatar rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed, "even now. I didn't fuck your brother."

Fili turned his head sharply to Kili for confirmation.

"He didn't." Kili hated the crudeness of the word. "He tried. I'll get you out of there, I promise." He remained silent about Fili's masked declaration. When all of this was over, he doubted he could look at Fili and not remember, and he didn't want to give the blue wizard any more traction on him. "Please hang in there, nadad. I'll do my best."

Fili didn't want to appear weak, but he couldn't help his relieved and emotional reaction to the news. He clasped his hand over his mouth to stifle a cry. "Oh, Kee," his eyes began to tear. "I was so scared that he'd hurt you!"

He got unsteadily to his feet and walked closer to the magical aperture. "Don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, Kili," Fili warned him. "Don't let him make you be something you're not. Find a way and be safe," he put his hand against the opaque wall, as if he could reach through and touch his brother. "I'm all right here," Fili told him. "Home would be better," he admitted.

Kili tried to reach through, although he soon found that he couldn't. He smiled sadly. What he was about to do would be unforgivable; he knew that. Fili didn't need to worry about that just yet. "You'll be home soon," he whispered. He yearned to touch him, just to convince himself that this was real. Magic had never been something he liked or deemed natural. "Just a little longer now."

Uncomfortable about telling more, he took a step back and nodded at Alatar.

"Thank you."

With a flick of his wrist, Alatar shut down their line of communication. Fili could still, thankfully, see through Alatar's eyes and hear through his ears.

_Will you get him medical help?_ he asked the wizard. _I won't try to kill myself again. I promise._

Alatar chuckled. "Your brother has a point, Kili. We should get that wound on your head seen to by your healer. Oin, his name is?"

"I'll go there myself." Kili couldn't help it; he had no love for the man inhabiting his brother's body. "If you could leave, you'd be of more help than otherwise. Thank you." Kili turned around and left the garden.

His body shook from his wounds and from the encounter. He'd nearly lost a large part of the only thing that belonged to him, a hair away from being forcefully taken from him. Kili did not stop until he reached the physician.

Only then, after knocking thrice on the wooden door, did he allow himself to faint.

Oin sent his apprentice to summon Thorin after Kili was found unconscious on his doorstep. Hurriedly, Oin had placed the lad on a cot, treated the cut on his forehead with salve and put a poultice over it.

By the time Thorin arrived, Kili was resting, blankets pulled up to his chin and late afternoon sun streaming across his wan face.

"What happened to him?" Thorin demanded. "Where's his brother?"

"I've not seen him," was Oin's curt response, before he sauntered outside and closed the door behind them. He took a seat on the bench nearby, gesturing for Thorin to do the same. "It's better he gets his rest. It's not a bad wound, although I'm not sure what happened. It seems like a brawl. He had bruises on his cheek, like from a fist. He picked up a fever, too. Perhaps young Master Fili does not know he is here."

Thorin sighed. Sadly, it wasn't atypical for occasionally hot-headed Kili to get in a tussle. But in the mid-afternoon? He hoped the injury wouldn't preclude his nephew from going out on his first patrol. He knew Kili was looking forward to it.

"I'll try to locate Fili then," Thorin said, slipping Oin some coin for his services. "If you feel that leaving him alone to sleep is best."

"A fever is best solved by letting the body fight its own battle. Besides, the lad is strong." Oin leaned on his walking cane contently. "I am not too worried about him. He came to me in time, and the mild concussion was easy to treat with him unconscious. Oh, don't pay me for looking after him. He's a friend."

Thorin looked distressed at the mention of the word 'concussion', but was more determined than ever to speak with Fili. The way the lad had been acting lately, he wouldn't be surprised if somehow Fili had something to do with Kili's injury.

He clapped his physician friend on the shoulder and strode out into the palace in search of Fili.

There were only so many places to look, and Thorin started with a quick visit to the training grounds, where Fili often spent his days when he wasn't out on patrol or with his brother, wreaking havoc somewhere. But nobody there had seen him. They suggested the outskirts, where, close to their mounts, the riders of Rohan stayed.

The third place should have been the most logical. Thorin didn't bother to knock on the door leading to Fili's chambers and simply opened them.

"Fili?" he called out.

Alatar, after Kili had left him in the garden, decided to take Fili upstairs and have a long, hot bath. He'd just climbed out of the water and toweled off his hair when Thorin charged in.

"Uncle!?" he cried out, mock modesty forcing him to wrap the towel around his waist. "Do I no longer get a knock when you enter my private chambers?"

"Not today." Thorin strode closer. He kept himself outside a four feet radius from his nephew. The last time they talked, Fili had offered him a highly indecent proposal, and he didn't think he trusted taking his chances. "Kili's ill." Thorin spoke as directly as he could, before gauging Fili's response. "Where have you been?"

Fili looked at him as if he'd gone mad. "Isn't it obvious?" he raised his arms, "I've been bathing, Uncle. Kili's ill? He was fine when I left him not long ago."

"What did you see him for, not long ago?"

Fili raised one eyebrow. "Do you truly want the answer to that question, Uncle? I'd prefer not to be chastised again. Just...use your imagination." As if to emphasize his point, he pulled the towel away and tossed it over the back of a chair, flaunting Fili's body brazenly.

"What's wrong with my brother?" he asked again, knowing full well the answer.

Thorin stilled. Anger flashed hotly at those words. He tried to hold himself back, but two seconds later he'd flung himself against Fili nonetheless, pressing him hard against the cool stone wall. "What did you do to him? If this is because of you..."

Fili chuckled and raised fluttering blue eyes to lock with his uncle's. "Why, Thorin..." he gasped. "I thought you didn't want this." He slipped a hand up between them and made to cup Thorin's cheek. "Glad to see you changed your—"

His words were cut off by a hand around his throat.

"One. More. Move." There was no humor in Thorin's voice. "Answer me. What did you do?" Fili's wet body was slippery underneath his grasp, but he refused to let go.

"We...had a falling out," Fili gasped, the relentless grip threatening to cut off his air.

In his prison, Fili cowered in the corner at the look in his uncle's eyes and the pressure on his already bruised throat. _Kill him, Uncle!_ he begged silently. _End this!_

Thorin couldn't hear him. If he had, he would have stepped back and given the imposter a breather, if only to save his nephew. As it was, the words only made angrier. "You bastard," he spat. "He's got a fever and a concussion. He's _your little brother_. What has gotten into you lately?"

He stepped back and allowed Fili's body to slump to the floor. With cold eyes Thorin looked down on him. "I think it's time you became an apprentice somewhere. I'll talk to Dain if he's got anything you might be good for in the Iron Hills."

"It was an accident, Thorin!" Fili cried out. "And he was upset because you told him I offered myself to you. And that I only did to try to drive home a point. _You_ are the reason Kili's injured, Uncle."

Rage was by now boiling inside Thorin. "Miscreant. Your mother would be ashamed of you, were she here to listen to your vile words." Thorin was in no way the reason Kili was injured; he had not told Fili to offer himself, and he'd warned him clearly not to pursue his brother, but he had a feeling that telling Fili that wouldn't improve the conversation. Fili would just spin another lie. Thorin jabbed a finger at him. "You are not to go near him again. If you do, I will lock you in your own rooms until I've figured out what to do with you. One more time, Fili, and you'll be sorry tenfold for the trouble you've caused."

"Thorin," Alatar pulled Fili to his feet. Thorin got a full glimpse of the bruise on his side, evidence that Kili had gotten at least one blow in. "I would never hurt Kili. His head injury truly was an accident," he said soothingly. "You carry _so_ much anger, Uncle," he locked eyes with Thorin, and the glance made Thorin feel a bit dizzy. Lust shot to his groin.

"If you'd only let me," Fili's voice sounded tinny and far away, "I could make you feel so much better, Thorin," he again raised his hand to Thorin's face. "So much better."

It would be so easy to give in. His body clearly wanted it. For a moment, Thorin thought he heard Frerin's voice instead of that of Fili.

But no. He tried to shake it away. The sudden lust might have clouded his senses, that did not mean that it would kill his reason, and his reason told him he did not want Fili. Fili was not Frerin. Fili was his nephew, his defiled, lost nephew whose immoral behavior he detested so much that the lust could not be natural.

"What—" he whispered, "—what are you?!"

"I am only Fili, your adoring nephew, your sister-son," Fili wrapped both arms around Thorin's waist and poured a bit more into his spell of attraction. "Will you embrace me, Uncle?"

In his prison, Fili could only cringe and bury his face on his knees. No matter what happened next, there would be pain.

The awakened sensation was stronger than the gold fever. Thorin wanted it more than he wanted to breathe—not even Erebor had spiked a desire of that magnitude. That was how he knew it to be unnatural. His strong hand pressed against Fili's mouth to stop him from spewing more alluring, deceptive words.

"The Iron Hills," he hissed. "You will not leave this room before then."

\- - - - - 

Alatar needed to give Thorin the illusion that he had been cowed. He could have easily blasted down the door, or disapparated to the other side. But he wanted Thorin to have a false sense of security.

It was no secret Thorin had a soft spot for the Hobbit. With Thorin so concerned about Fili's bad behavior and Kili's health, hopefully no one would be paying attention to Bilbo, once he returned to Erebor.

Ori, meanwhile, sat by the bedside of his friend Kili. He was still warm. Maybe it was just his hopes at play, but he did seem a bit cooler than the last time he'd checked. Ori changed the dressing on Kili's head wound and waited. The only sound in the room was the scritch-scratch of a quill on parchment as Ori drew.

It took time, but eventually the sound woke Kili up. He groaned before his eyes cracked open. Something in his mouth tasted like powder and ground herbs—a foul mixture that pushed him to lucidity faster than the presence of someone else in the room did. "What is this?" Kili stuck out his tongue and nearly gagged, before noticing Ori and blinking.

"Oh. What—where am I?"

"It's all right, bahel. Relax," Ori sat his writing implements aside and put a warm hand on Kili's shoulder. "It's medicine. You have a fever. It's going down, though. You're in Oin's infirmary. You came here and passed out right outside the door, he said. Do you remember?"

 

"...Right." Kili remembered the events of his last waking moments. He remembered Fili-who-wasn't-Fili, and the unspeakable things which had passed. His sadness probably showed, so he tried to mask it looking at Ori's sketchpad. "What are you drawing?"

"Oh," Ori turned a distinct shade of pink. "It's—it's nothing." He slipped the piece of parchment onto the table, out of Kili's sight.

Normally, Kili would have pursued it even more after a response like that, as it was clear Ori was hiding something. He felt too weak for it today. "Have you seen Fili?" he wanted to know.

"Not since this morning," Ori shrugged, biting his lip. "Thorin went to his bedchamber earlier and when he came back...well, he was angry. He had locked Fili inside and was muttering something about sending him off to the Iron Hills. I don't get it. Fili's...he's perfect. But whatever he did to anger the king," he shuddered. "Well, I wouldn't want to be him right now. Can I get you some water?" he rose. "Something else?"

"He's not perfect." The dark words were out before Kili knew it. Not this Fili. Not the real Fili either—though for him, Kili's tone would have been fond. Still, though he had no good knowledge of how wizards worked, having Fili contained gave him a chance. "Ori?" Kili called after him. A vertigo punished him for his lack of respect for letting his body recovery immediately. He cursed himself. "Has Gandalf come back yet?"

"He and Bilbo are expected in a few hours," Ori told him. He wrinkled his forehead at Kili's almost angry tone, surprised. Weren't Kili and his brother exceptionally close? _Scandalously_ close, some might say.

"You ought to sleep some more," Ori told him. "Whoever did this to you can't get to you here. The doors are locked. I'll get you something to drink for when you wake," he turned to hand the picture he'd been drawing to Kili. 

It was a rendering of Kili sleeping, but in the picture there was no bandage. He looked handsome, worry-free. Princely. "It's like that story of the sleeping princess, waiting to be awakened by true love's kiss," Ori blushed. "Well, except that you're a prince." He left the room quickly.

_And his true love's kiss had been given to the wrong person._ It was a beautiful drawing with a beautiful thought behind it. Kili sadly lay back down. "Please wake me when Gandalf arrives. If you can, bring him here immediately. Nobody else...just him. I have a favor I need to ask him. It's really important."

Sleep didn't come for a while. Restlessly, Kili looked up at the ceiling plaster. What would Fili be doing right now?

_His Fili._

The blood trickling from his temple had finally slowed and clotted. He knew he looked a mess, with dried blood caking his face, his beard, bruised throat and the ridiculously oversized robe. His head hurt and the shame he felt from what Alatar had done with Thorin was dreadful. _How can I face him again?_ He lamented. 

When it became evident that Alatar was going to put up the ruse that he was actually locked in Fili's bedchamber, the true Fili, in his chilly cell, allowed himself the luxury of a nap. But his sleep was fitful and racked with nightmares where he did unspeakable things to those he loved.

Kili jerked up. His wild eyes looked around him. Around his legs, the telltale damp sheets of a sickbed clung to the curves of his body. He touched his neck. Moments ago, Fili's hands had been there, menacing and merciless.

The figure coming into focus wasn't Fili though. Ori looked at him in concern.

"A dream," Kili realized. "I—I fell asleep."

"He seemed to be getting better when I left him earlier," Ori said to someone in the shadows. "All that sweat...surely the fever has broken. Kili, lay down. Let me change your dressing one more time and I will leave you two to talk. Get under the covers and relax. Oin will have fits if he sees you up and about like this."

Ori smoothed down Kili's unruly hair with a caring hand and carefully removed the small poultice, replacing it with a fresh one. "I've brought Gandalf, alone, as you asked," he told his friend.

"Kili, lad," the wizard pulled up a chair from a dark corner and sat down on it. "I haven't seen you looking this poorly since we pulled you from a barrel near Laketown. Thank you, Ori," he said to the departing redhead, who looked reluctant to go. "I'll take it from here."

"A lot has happened." The sheets were too hot and Kili did not want to lie down, though he had a feeling Gandalf would admonish him for it. So he rolled onto his side to face him.

"I am glad to see you. I hope your trip went well. But I'm afraid I asked you here for a reason. What do you know about the blue wizards?"

Kili looked around just to check if nobody else was there. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "They are like you, right?"

"Ah, well," Gandalf sat back and cleared his throat. "This is a conversation best had over some Old Toby," he pulled his pipe from the folds of his grey robes. "Will it bother you, lad?"

Kili shook his head. He didn't think Oin would take to it kindly if he asked if he could have a smoke too.

Technically, Kili wasn't breaking any of Alatar's rules yet.

"I didn't tell you much about my fellow wizards, other than Radagast, of course, whom you met," Gandalf said, sucking air into his pipe to ignite the weed. "Radagast the Brown is a dear soul, as you discovered. Saruman, whom you met briefly in Rivendell—I feel his leanings have yet to be revealed. Then there are the blue wizards, Alatar and Pallando.

"No one is certain if they are brothers or not," Gandalf leaned forward, puffing thoughtfully. "The pair of them vanished to the far east long ago. No one has seen them in years. _Decades,_ even. They have been rumored—and these are merely rumors, mind you—to have been attempting to garner followings by practicing the black arts. It may even be that they are serving Sauron."

"Sauron?"

The air in the room chilled with that one word. For Kili had heard of that name. It was a name fraught with evil.

"Would Alatar or Pallando be able to take someone else's form? Or listen in on a conversation that takes place half a mountain away?"

"Let me address your questions in reverse order. A wizard _can_ spy from long distances, but only if he plans ahead and knows that the conversation is going to occur and when," he smiled. "In that case, it's a matter of preparation. Assuming the form of another, for more than just a short time, requires, generally, that the individual you plan to become is...well, that he is in your custody. I won't say 'prisoner,' although it can be done against someone's will."

Gandalf leaned back in his chair. "Sauron is a evil creature. He's responsible for most of the war and chaos in Middle Earth. This is largely due to a series of rings he had forged..."

"Like Bilbo's."

Kili had to ask. He had to tell Gandalf, perhaps not everything until he was sure it was safe, but enough.

"One of them is here." Kili whispered. "I need your help."

"I know full well that one of the rings is here, Kili," the wizard told him. "He found it in Goblintown. But this particular ring of Bilbo's...it's more than just any ring of Sauron. It's _the_ One Ring. The One Ring meant to rule all the others."

Kili's jaw fell open. It was worse than he thought. And he'd been about to—

It hurt. Because the One Ring, world domination, that was more important than Fili. Never to Kili, but to everyone else. He couldn't do that to his uncle, who'd only just reacquired the Lonely Mountain, nor to any of the dwarves he knew. Poor Bilbo. He was such a small creature to have to be carrying something so important.

"I meant the Blue Wizard who did this to me," he said with pain in his heart, for if Alatar listened in on them, Fili's life was forfeit. "He's here and he wants me to get it. He's holding Fili."

"He wants the ring."

It was a statement, not a question.

"I'd like to talk to him. As a concerned friend, of course," Gandalf clarified. "We can say Thorin was concerned about him and asked me to see if he needed sorting out."

Kili nodded. He couldn't do anything, his body still feeling the wave of the fever when he moved too much. "If...," he hesitated, "if you're talking to him, could you ask Thorin to sit with me? If he finds out I told and you're away, it'd be so easy for him." To get rid of Kili.

"You're shaking like a leaf, Kili," Gandalf noted, putting his large hand over Kili's much smaller one. "Was it the wizard did this to you—wearing your brother's face?"

Kili didn't answer immediately, but blinked and a fat tear rolled down each cheek. The answer was obvious. 

"Yes, of course he did. You know full well it wasn't Fili did this to you, lad? Fili—well, I've never seen a big brother care for his younger sibling as much as Fili does for you. The wizard chose the dwarf who'd cause the most damage by not being himself, didn't he? A horrible, horrible thing to do to family. I shall go see him. Thorin will join you here."

Gandalf stood. "In the meantime, we shall have to figure out a way to trick this kidnapper into thinking he's getting the true One Ring. I shall need Bilbo for that. I will return, Kili."

There was nothing else for Kili to do but acquiesce, huddled like a much smaller version of his usual self under the blankets. He hated not being able to do anything.

\- - - - - 

Not long afterwards, Gandalf's staff knocked three times resoundingly on the huge wooden door to Fili's bedchamber. The knocks were in warning, of course, as the door was locked from the outside and Gandalf held the key.

The wizard unlatched the door and entered. "Fili? Are you here, lad?"

Silence greeted him. For propriety's sake, Gandalf repeated the action. This time, the absence of sound consented his entry.

The quarters seemed empty—too quiet even. From each of the rooms in the mountain could be heard the quiet hammering from the deep, and the bustle of a race that thrived on smithing and other means of creation, but not here.

"Fili?" Gandalf tried again. He closed the door firmly behind him—nobody would sneak out while he was here.

Gandalf finally found Fili standing before a mirror in his washroom, staring forlornly at his reflection.

He didn't acknowledge the wizard's presence.

"Fili. Ah, there you are, lad. Gave me quite a fright there. How are you feeling? Your uncle told me you weren't quite, ah, yourself, so I thought I'd come pay you a visit."

"He's right about that," the blond continued to stare at his reflection. "I haven't been myself."

"Ah." No denial, then. Gandalf moved closer and amicably placed a hand on Fili's shoulder. "If an old man may be of help..."

"I doubt you can, Gandalf," Fili turned to face him. He was crying. "I hurt my brother today. It was an accident, but it was quite bad. I've been foolish, and—and I've done and said some very scandalous things. Uncle wants to send me away."

Gandalf observed him closely. It was hard to sense any power from the figure before him, like he would feel around Radagast, or Saruman. But they never used the body of another. "I'm sure you had a good reason to say those things," he reasoned. "You know how stubborn Thorin gets. Especially when it's about something he cares deeply about."

"That's no excuse for my behavior. I've tried apologizing to them both, but to no avail. In fact, I only tend to act worse when I'm around them." He turned his face away. "I'm afraid Uncle no longer feels I am fit to succeed him."

Gandalf looked at him kindly. "I can imagine. You've acted differently from your usual ways, young master dwarf. Surely they will see you are still the same. Though I must admit, I do understand their confusion. Something must have changed for you, hasn't it? Has something happened to you recently?"

"Nothing that I can, or should, speak with you about, Gandalf. It's far too—improper." He frowned. "I have undermined any faith and trust my uncle and brother held in me. I'm to be a pariah, a black sheep," he lamented, burying his face in his hands. 

"The line of Durin," Gandalf could hear him groan, "it's...it's..."

"The line of Durin is strong, Fili. It will survive. As will you." Though Gandalf observed him with curiosity now, the mirror bearing both of their reflections.

Gently, so as not to upset Fili, he moved his hand where it could touch Fili's skin. 

Gandalf would know.

"The line of Durin is corrupted!" Fili said with a hiss and Alatar turned to his fellow wizard, eyes red and glowing.


	6. A Wish on a Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf overpowers Alatar and Fili is returned to his family. But, will they ever trust him again?

"Oh, Gandalf!" Alatar chuckled darkly, smiling with Fili’s mouth. "How long did you think I was going to let you keep pretending you didn't know anything was amiss?"

Although currently short in stature, Alatar stared the older wizard down. "You know what I want. And you'd be a fool to admit you haven't considered stealing it for yourself!"

"Alatar," Gandalf spoke with a sigh. "So it is true." He moved back to offer the blue wizard more space, yet he refused to step back so far as to give him the assumption it was because of fear. "Stealing it for myself; what good would that bring me? It is with a person most capable of holding it until the time comes for us to do something about it. Do not forget the task you were given, brother. Ours is not to decide on the fate of the land, unless it is to protect it. What madness drove you to claim this young dwarf's body?"

"He's friends with the Hobbit, and he's of royal blood—nephew of the king. All of Erebor loves him. He was perfect." Alatar stood straight and tall. It was painful for Gandalf to see Fili's handsome face twisted with such bitterness and evil.

"If I hadn't accidentally hurt the younger one in my zeal, he'd be pilfering that ring for me right now," Alatar stroked Fili's beard thoughtfully. "Clearly you and I have fallen on different sides of the line, Gandalf. I can see a future for Middle Earth under Sauron, my master, and you cannot."

"Fool. The only future you will see under Sauron is destruction." The grey wizard gripped his staff tighter. It didn't look like they were going to solve this by talking alone. "Hand me back the prince and leave this mountain at once, Alatar."

They had once been alike, Alatar and him. It already posed too big of a threat to have Sauron aware where the Ring was being held—if Alatar had relayed as much. To look upon him now, so corrupted, made Gandalf sad.

"That's not how this is going to transpire, Gandalf," Alatar held Fili's head at a cocky angle. "I am the only person alive who knows where to find him. If you kill me, Fili dies. If you harm me, he suffers as well. The only way this kingdom will have its prince safely returned is if I leave here with the One Ring in my pocket. This is not a negotiation," Alatar pushed past the wizard and turned around. "Get me the ring, and everything returns to normal."

The mood between the two wizards fell to a new dark. Gandalf straightened himself. His voice took on a warning note.

"There are ways to bind you. Do not make me, or you will rue the day you chose to cross paths with me. You and I both know I will not get you the Ring. To do so would bring doom upon us all. Leave now, Alatar."

"You're right, Gandalf," Fili nodded. "Perhaps I should leave. I could go to the Blue Mountains and stay for a bit. I understand it's quite lovely there, plenty of food and ale, and the dwarves very fun loving."

He smiled. "Fili will be well fed and hydrated. But a dwarf can go mad locked away in a cell like that for days, weeks, months on end. I could keep this young, sturdy body, bed a lovely bearded lass, and have fat babies while he drifts into madness watching me live out his life. But not the life he was meant to have; and certainly not the one he would choose."

There was no rumble, no warning. Suddenly Gandalf bore his staff into the stone floor and a wall of wind and mica assailed Alatar from behind him, passing by the caller of the storm but being not as kind to the Dwarven chambers.

On the opposite side, the mirror burst into a deadly rain of shards.

"You leave me no choice!" Gandalf called out over the noise, raising his staff high above him.

A shard of the mirror had pierced Alatar's thigh and only in kneeling to clutch it did he manage to avoid more of the deadly debris. Nonetheless, cuts were evident on his face and the exposed skin of his forearms.

As Gandalf waved his staff in the air, preparing to make a second incantation, Alatar withdrew a dagger from Fili's boot.

They were both no fools. Even if a dagger would not be as powerful as a staff, Alatar could still take one's life, locked in nothingness until released, with the instrument. The second charge was aimed directly at it—not at Alatar.

With the slow kindling of the wind, a heat seeped into the metal, the blade itself turning a glowing red before the leather around the handle started to smoke.

In his prison, Fili watched these events unfold in horror, terrified that Alatar would kill Gandalf, all the while wearing his own face.

But what was happening now was more terrifying. A sharp, knife-like pain lanced his left thigh and small stinging blows erupted over the rest of his body. Blood welled through the deep blue cloth of his robe and he curled up into a ball, as if to duck and hide from debris he couldn't see.

Not long after, his right hand began to feel warm, then uncomfortably hot. When the flesh began to blister, he screamed. 

So did Alatar, who finally released his grip on the dagger. 

All at once it was over. A knock of thin air sent him flat to the ground, whereupon Gandalf was atop him. "Madness," he whispered, "a wizard without a staff." By doing so, Alatar had left half of his strength behind, making this only as easy for Gandalf as seeing Fili suffer was. The gnarled top of his own staff glowed a deep orange as he pressed it against the other's temple. Alatar would knock himself unconscious before tapping into the remainder of his power—before being able to hurt the dwarf in his captivity.

"Release him," Gandalf commanded.

"I must have the Ring!" Alatar hissed, fingers curled into claws, which latched onto Gandalf's robes. "If I return to Sauron empty-handed, I'm a dead man."

"One of seven, my old friend," Gandalf offered. "So that it may save your life. Not the one."

"I..." Alatar gave pause, head aching ferociously. "I could tell him he must have been mistaken. That—that the Halfling didn't have the One Ring, but one of the seven...?" a tear ran from Alatar's eye, as for one brief moment he allowed himself this fantasy. 

Then reality came to the forefront. "I'm a dead man, Gandalf. He's going to kill me regardless. But I can do one good deed before I go to my death, can't I?" He lifted his unburned hand to show Gandalf that he meant no harm with it, and reached into the folds of his leather jerkin, extracting a vial.

Alatar uncorked it and poured the fluid within onto the stone floor nearby. It pooled, and from it rose the front wall of Fili's prison. Inside, Gandalf could see Fili, curled up and clutching his injured hand. "There," Alatar said weakly, closing his eyes. "He's there."

Relief washed over Gandalf, but if he was concerned for Fili, he showed it not. Alatar's heart had seen blackness. It was his duty to a lost comrade to offer help if he could give it.

"Do not return to the Dark Lord," he pleaded. "There once was good on this earth. It is still here, even if his forces strive to throw it down. Fight with me so that we may again witness the blossoming of Middle Earth. It is not too late. Please, old friend."

"I shall go into hiding. Seclusion," Alatar told Gandalf. "I am not the type of wizard who functions well within a city, or a company." Weakly, he sat up, jerking his head slightly towards Fili's prison. "You'll need to bring him out in order for me to change back to myself."

Alatar was still a disciple of Sauron, and Gandalf knew better. "Fili?" he called out. "Can you hear me? If you can, get up. Your path is clear." He wasn't going to enter the void himself; an easy flick of the wrist, and he would be entrapped there with Alatar having gained an even more dangerous guise; that of himself.

Fili, who had curled himself into the corner, head lowered, looked up. "Gandalf? You can see me?" He got unsteadily to his feet, tripping on the over-long robe as he made his way towards the front wall of his prison. Because Gandalf had said the path was clear, he extended his hand to touch the opaque wall. But it was still as impermeable as before. He was still trapped inside!

"Only a wizard can pull him out." Groaning, Alatar got to his feet and extended his uninjured hand through the barrier towards Fili, who backed away, eyes wide, until he realized that Alatar was trying to pull him out. Then, he voluntarily—albeit cautiously—stepped forward and allowed the wizard to use his own hand to yank him through the grey wall and into his own bedchamber.

Once he was through the wall of the void and back in Erebor, Fili's knees grew weak. Everything was far too bright; too loud. He would have fallen to the ground if Gandalf hadn't caught him and steadied him.

"He'll be fine," Alatar assured Gandalf. Already his voice was sounding less like Fili's. "The adjustment back to our plane can be jarring."

Gandalf nodded. "He needs medical attention." He lent the dwarf his support. "Thank you. I will take him to see a physician as soon as I can. What will you do, friend? Where will you go? If I may be of assistance," one that did not involve harmfully using others like pawns, "you have my hand."

He allowed himself to look Fili over. He looked pale—pale and weak, though nourished. How long had he been in that prison? How long had this been going on?

"I give you my word. If you ask for help against Sauron, you shall have it."

"Time will play out the script for Middle Earth, one way or another," Alatar gave a groan as his body shifted back into his own form. Disoriented by the height, he tottered. "How do they do it, being so small?"

Fili shot him a disdainful glance, but still clung to Gandalf.

"I'm going back East," Alatar said. "Maybe Sauron will seek me there. If my time comes, so be it. We must all die at some point." 

The last thing to change back was their clothing. When Alatar took in the state of his robe, it was impressed upon him just how cruel Fili's time in the void had been. "I'm sorry you were hurt," he told the prince. "You must think me a madman," Alatar grimaced, clenching and unclenching his own burned hand. "How else could I have done such a thing?"

Fili was too weak and disoriented to lash out at Alatar as he would have wished. His only desire was to see his family and make things right.

Gandalf. However. formally inclined his head, like one would to a man one once knew. "I shall walk with you to the gate and see you off. It is the least I can do." He knew Fili would not understand all that had passed between them. Living for as long as they both had done had created a bond not unlike brothers between the two. Sauron's interference could not break that connection.

Their walk was slow, impeded by two men injured. When Gandalf stopped before Oin's door, he turned an inquisitive eye on the wizard. "If you would accept a humble favor from one like me, I would offer you to visit an extraordinary healer in Esgaroth."

But Alatar was not allowed to enter Oin's house; such was only Fili's privilege. Alatar, Gandalf vowed, would never lay eyes on the heirs of the line of Durin again.

"Go, Fili," Gandalf nodded. "Your wounds need tending. I will leave you here. I would suggest being very careful yet. Your brother and uncle will be there, and I am sorry I do not have the time to explain it to them. They will think you are still who you've been the last few days."

"Yes, Gandalf," Fili nodded tightly, keeping a watchful eye on Alatar. "I...it should be all right. How do I prove to them that I am really me?" 

"They'll know," Alatar assured him, face showing just the ghost of a smile. "They'll just know." 

Fili, still terrified of the blue wizard, didn't answer him. When he finally released himself from Gandalf's grasp, he knocked once on Oin's door before letting himself inside. He didn't look back. 

"Oin?" he greeted the physician, who was seated at his table and hadn't heard his knock. Seconds later, his knees gave way and he grabbed onto the door frame for support. 

"Come, lad," Oin slipped an arm under Fili's to help him into his infirmary. 

"M-my uncle?" Fili asked weakly. "My...Kili?" 

"They are here," Oin assured him. "Just beyond the curtain." 

Thorin's head shot up when he heard Fili's voice. His eyes were full of anger. 

Fili didn't see this. He only had eyes for his brother. Pale and bleeding from his head, leg and various small cuts, not to mention the deep bruising around his right eye and throat, Fili looked nothing like the cocky, confident youth Thorin had locked in his bedchamber hours before. 

Obvious though the change was, Kili couldn't allow himself to believe it. He had mis-stepped several times over the last couple of days now, and while it would be so easy to give in and truly believe, if he was wrong, he would end up in here again—or worse. Kili had told someone. He hadn't done what he'd been bidden to do. He had betrayed a wizard.

For that, he knew that wrong judgment would be his downfall.

So he selected his words carefully, seeking the warmth and safety of the blankets by pulling himself further under, and watched between Thorin and Fili as he spoke.

"What happened to you?"

Fili wanted desperately to run to his brother and throw his arms around him. But the wary look on Kili's face kept Fili from doing that. He allowed Oin to ease him into a sitting position on the bed next to his brother's.

"I—" Fili began, voice hoarse from the throttling. He cleared his throat and tried again. "A wizard attacked me while I was on patrol. He's been pretending to be me for the past five or six days. I'm not sure how many exactly; I lost track."

He winced in pain as Oin took his burned hand into his own palm and palpitated it.

"Gandalf forced him out," Fili told them. "He's leaving town right now."

"What did he want?"

Kili looked at him expectantly. He knew; the answer was not for himself. If Thorin knew of the wizard's intentions, and if Fili told him plainly, then maybe Fili was right. Maybe he wasn't the wizard anymore.

It would be so easily a ruse.

"He wanted that ring that Bilbo found in Goblintown. The one he used to become invisible and free us in the Mirkwood prison," Fili told them as Oin bade him to take off his trow. The physician helped him back to his feet and Fili awkwardly pushed down his pants with one hand, revealing the puncture wound on his thigh. 

He suddenly felt very dizzy and allowed himself to sit back down slowly. 

"I could see everything he did, through his eyes. Heard everything he _said._ " He raised his eyes to lock with Thorin's. "I wanted to die of shame."

Thorin looked away at that, mindful of others in the room. "We will discuss that in private soon. You mean to say there will be no more strange behavior from now on?"

Kili didn't even hear it. He was still hesitant—of course he was. Some well-selected words weren't going to restore a week of crumbling trust. But it sounded like improvement. No more fear because of everything that had happened.

Not that it made communication between them easier. Alatar had ruined that.

"Please take care of his wounds, Oin," he spoke quietly. "I think I'm almost ready to leave for my own rooms. He looks like he needs it more than me."

Fili felt nearly paralyzed by guilt and shame. He hadn't done any of the vile things to his brother and uncle that Alatar had, of course, but it may as well have been him in their eyes. His chest felt heavy and his throat tight. He was desperate for his brother to swoop in and make everything better, pepper his face with kisses and oh-Fee-I'm-so-glad-you're-back.

But it didn't happen.

Fili didn't protest when Oin bade him to take two spoonfuls of a greenish liquid. It burned when it hit his stomach and the tightness in his throat abated significantly. The medicine weakened his resolve, which he _did not want._ The tears that were threatening to fall burst forth. He turned his face to the wall as the physician bandaged his leg. 

By the time Oin moved to dress his forehead, Fili felt the need to lie down. "I'm sorry," he apologized to his old friend, who only patted him on the chest, as if it was to be expected. 

He felt himself dozing off while Oin was slathering something cold and wet on his burned palm.

By the time he woke, all was dark outside. Only the weatherlights that always illuminated the paths outside when daylight became sparse glowed, along with several candles beside his bed—well out of reach to prevent him from knocking one over in a fever frenzy.

He was not alone, he soon found out. The quiet snores of another dwarf broke the silence. A glance told him it was not Oin. That made sense, he thought belatedly. Oin wheezed when he slept.

The light from the candle flickered just so to reveal the figure. Thorin grumbled at the light and squeezed his eyes further shut.

 _He stayed,_ Fili thought, and his heart lurched with happiness. Turning his head to the left, he saw his brother, sleeping. The motion brought dizziness along with it, so when he turned his head back to Thorin, he did so much more slowly. Then, it became clear.

 _He stayed to protect Kili._ Fili's heart sank. It was exactly as Alatar had predicted. He'd poisoned his dearest family members against him! He'd merely been moved to a different kind of prison.

He must have made a sound, because when he looked at Thorin again, Thorin's eyes were open. Sleepy, yet awake nonetheless.

"Fili," he whispered, a finger against his lips indicating his nephew to be quiet for Kili's sake. "How are you feeling?"

"I..." Fili was surprised by Thorin's concerned tone. "I feel dreadful, Uncle. My heart... my heart _hurts_."

Fili could think of no other way to express it. "Those awful things that Alatar said to you. The touching," his voice hitched. "I'm so, so sorry, Thorin."

Thorin sat up straighter. "Gandalf explained, or rather, he sent down Gloin because he had no time himself. You need not worry about me. You were acting strangely—I should have known. But what happened? Gloin says I can trust you, but nobody tells me what went on. Did Kili know?"

"He looked exactly like me. He was me, for all intents and purposes," Fili said sadly. "Except, sometimes, he'd say and do very foolish things. Like bringing up that business with Frerin," he spoke in something just louder than a whisper. "That was...that was horrible. Inexcusable. I could see and hear, but not influence him in any way. He told Kili who he was yesterday, just after he injured him. H-he tackled him and his head hit the ground. He took him to the garden, the one where you took the elves. Then he revealed himself. Kili was hurt pretty badly. I don't know if he remembers that it wasn't really me. I would die if he thought I was capable of hurting him that way."

Fili's blue eyes were full of tears. "It's been painful to watch all this, Thorin. My worst nightmares, all come to life."

Thorin sighed sorrowfully. "It is...good to have you back. It is." He smiled with the tentativeness of a man brought back from the dead. "The words he said were hurtful, but I know they weren't you, I know that now. I was planning on sending you off to the Iron Hills. Instead I should have looked closer."

He looked over at the other dwarf, still soundly asleep in his bed. He had stopped looking vulnerable. Thorin was glad for it—they were both fine young dwarves, strong and adventurous, and they should never look that way. "I don't know what happened between him and the one in your body," he whispered, "but I think he had a hard time processing it. If this had been your doing, Fili, I would have sent you to the Iron Hills still. Now, all I wish for is to have peace between you."

"I would never, ever hurt Kili, Thorin. I love him. More than I love myself. Admittedly, much more than I should. There are things Alatar told you about my feelings for Kili. Things I should have told you myself, but I was too ashamed to admit them to you. But I am not ashamed of how much I love him, Uncle. He brings me so much joy and happiness. I-I truly believe, in my heart, that he is my One."

Fili tentatively reached out his uninjured hand to Thorin.

"I had hoped..." Thorin sighed. "It is pointless, is it not, to hope you will reconsider?"

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When they opened again, they were soft and aimed directly at Fili. "I would appreciate if what you found out about Frerin could stay between us."

Fili nodded solemnly. "I won't speak of it again, Thorin.” Thorin did not take the hand Fili offered, so Fili pulled it back beneath the covers, trying to mask the sting of the rejection. “But asking me to stop loving Kili is like asking me to stop breathing. I simply cannot. I cannot live without air, and I cannot live without him."

"...I know." It pained Thorin to admit it. "I know how that feels. Give me time to give it a place. And get some sleep. You're still recovering." He smiled quietly. "There's company I think you would be happy to meet, but I'm not introducing you until you look better. Besides, I fear that if we continue much longer, we'll wake up Kili."

As he settled back down, after another stolen glance at his little brother, Fili couldn't help but think that a major barrier in Thorin's heart had just been moved aside. As sleep pulled him under, he found himself imagining Thorin much younger—looking very much like his own beloved, laughing and happy and very much in love.

\- - - - -

The following morning, Thorin and Kili were gone when Fili awoke. Oin, cleaning some tools, opened the doors wide upon noticing and sighed out. "Fresh air! How would you like some herb tea to patch you right up?" He walked back in with the gait of a hunched man. "You'll not be out of here today, my lad, though you seem well enough."

"Yes, Oin...tea would be just fine," Fili answered him absently. "M-my brother? Did you send him home?"

Oin didn't reply until he got back with the tea. He sat down next to him, pouring himself a cup as well. "Oh, no point holding a dwarf somewhere he should not be. Your brother requested to recover in his own chambers, and I didn't see why not. Aside from a reasonable headache, he seems to be quite fine. Thorin would have stayed, were it not that he had matters of state to attend to. He said he'd be back later."

Fili's face fell. "Oh."

He took a sip of the tea, then set it aside because it was a bit too hot.

"I thought he might be here when I woke up. I thought he might want to stay with me."

"What's that?" Oin leaned closer. Then he waved it away with a laugh. "He'll visit you. You shouldn't be concerned about anything but getting better right now. From what I've heard, you've been through quite a lot."

"No worse than what Kili was subjected to," Fili gazed out into the sunshine he'd missed so much during his imprisonment. "Oin, I am in desperate need of a bath. Can I do that here?"

"Far worse, actually." Perhaps Fili didn't remember his state when he'd been brought in, so Oin said, "There's some nasty cuts on you, not to mention the shards of glass I had to extract from you. Kili's been far better off." He hummed pleasantly, as if the hurt that had visited him last night was nothing new. "There's a bath in the back. I could ask Ran next door if she's got some herbs left. It'll be good for you."

"I'd really appreciate that," Fili reached for the tea and finished it. "I haven't had a bath in a few days," he added.

What went unspoken was that he wanted to be clean and presentable when his brother came back to the infirmary. 

That didn't happen that day, although Thorin was able to inform him, much later around sunset, when he finally made his entrance in the small room—Oin was a physician, not an infirmary for more than two, three people at a time—that he was doing well.

"He's been asleep throughout the day," he said as they both ate a humbly put together dinner, "but I saw him just before I came here. He'll be good tomorrow. He wants to go outside and stretch his legs." He chuckled warmly. "Actually, he rather wants to stretch his bowstring and hunt."

Fili barely touched his chicken, pushing his potatoes around with his fork.

"He doesn't want to see me, does he?"

Thorin looked sad at that.

"Give him time, Fili. I do not know what he's seen, not like you do, but it is clear he has seen a lot. Whenever I mention you in his presence, he looks mostly confused, not angry."

"Alatar tricked him," was all Fili was willing to divulge. "Horribly."

He pushed his plate away slowly, looking for all the world like a flower wilting for lack of its beloved sunlight. "Maybe tomorrow," he whispered.

Thorin looked down in a half-nod. He continued to eat the rest of his food before speaking again.

"Gandalf is still gone. We do not know when he will return, as seems always to be the case with him, but Bilbo is fine. Four of us are guarding him now, just in case, not that he's thankful of it. Kili...didn't want to see him either, if that makes you feel better."

"With Alatar gone, Bilbo has nothing to fear," Fili looked down at his hands. "None of us do." 

He was quiet for a moment, then speared a potato and chewed thoughtfully. "Gandalf mentioned something about making sure Alatar was out of the city. Perhaps he decided to travel with him a bit...to keep him on the right path."

Oin checked in on them, but quickly understood it was a conversation meant for two sets of ears, not three, and scurried off.

"It would seem so." Thorin looked him over once, twice. "I am sorry I did not see the difference. You were acting odd and I thought it was because of Kili. I should have seen it when you talked to me of things that were better left unsaid and you showed no interest in holding back. I feel I have wronged my own kin."

"Thorin, no!" Fili corrected him quickly. "It was my face, my body, my voice. How was anyone _not_ to believe it was me? And yet, it hurts me still that Kili believed he was."

Thorin coughed at that. It was none of his business, what had transpired between Alatar and Kili, he knew that. He didn't even want to be involved. The less he knew about it, the better. But he had to set something straight before Fili dragged himself under in sadness while Kili shied away from him.

"Perhaps he simply _wanted_ to believe."

Fili's head shot up. Suddenly it dawned on him. Kili was ashamed that he'd enjoyed himself with Alatar, thinking he was actually Fili. He was afraid now that the real Fili didn't have the same feelings that Alatar professed. 

"I must see him, Thorin," Fili did not beg, but this was very close to it.

"You must get better," Thorin got up and clasped a hand on Fili's shoulder. "It'll give him the time he plainly needs, and you the temperance not to do anything foolish. Believe me, nephew. It would be too soon."

Thorin still didn't very much condone his only two heirs choosing each other. It was just that wanting them both to be happy caused him to say these things. Balin had advised against visiting Fili today for this very reason. Thorin did not regret it.

"All right, Uncle," Fili agreed, but none too happily. "I should be getting some sleep. Goodnight."

After Thorin departed, Fili sat for a few moments looking out the window at the giant moon on the horizon. "Please, let him still want me," he wished on a star that twinkled. "Please, please, please."

\- - - - -

Fili recovered swiftly in the days that followed. Thorin came to see him every day. The last, on the fifth day of his incarceration, he brought some of the host of Rohan, who spoke highly of him as if Thorin had told them nothing but good things. They praised the fading wounds and called him strong. Only the scar on his thigh would become a faint scar. The others were already barely visible.

When he was finally allowed to leave on the night of the fifth, his uncle came to pick him up and would not leave until Fili had taken a hot, soothing bath.

Nearly a week he hadn't been able to go where he wanted to—two, if you counted his imprisonment—and now, as Thorin smiled at him and left him alone in his chambers, there was not even a sentence warning him not to do anything unwise.

It was just Fili and his own choices.

As eager as Fili had been to see his brother, Kili did not come to the infirmary during Fili's confinement. Every night, Fili wished on that same faraway star, to no avail. Now, back in his chamber deep in the mountain, he couldn't see that star. Not that it mattered. 

Someone kind had cleaned up the mess that Alatar and Gandalf had left in his room. A new mirror had been hung. But he couldn't bear to look at himself for more than a fleeting second. All he saw when he did was the face of the person who nearly raped his brother.

The absence of Kili burned, a deep-seated ache in his very soul. He missed his smile, the feel of those adept fingers braiding his hair, his smell.

 _Please, please, please,_ he continued to wish regardless, as he lay down on his bed. _I need him._


	7. Stallions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even being sidelined during a hunt with the legendary Riders of Rohan can't dim Fili's happiness.

Fili's chambers remained quiet throughout the night, only the faint noise from the mountain disturbing the silence and adding to it.

When Fili woke up, there was a second weight. At the far end of the bed, his brother lay asleep. He'd snuck in a few hours back and, tired from the hour, had given in very soon after when Fili didn't wake.

He was still lost in dreams, but Fili's movement stirred him and he peeked open one eye.

"Is it morning already?" Kili groaned.

Fili's first impulse was to embrace him and not let go. But obviously Kili had taken his time in getting here.

_But he'd come._ Finally, after countless days of torture.

"Oh, Kili," the blonde said at last. "I'm so happy to see you. Finally, my braids will be proper again."

Kili laughed despite himself. "Is that the first thing you choose to tell me after I haven't seen you in two weeks?" his low voice rumbled. He sat up and stretched. "I should sleep more. But how are you feeling?"

Fili swallowed audibly. "I'm afraid to say what I really want to. I don't want you to stay away again."

"...I meant, how are your wounds? Would I like the other things you want to tell me?"

Fili shrugged as if to say the wounds were of no consequence. "I'd tell you that, even though you know it wasn't me who did those things to you, that I am so, so sorry. You will always associate my face with your pain and shame. I'm sorry, Kili. The past days without you have been dreadful beyond imaging."

It was plain that Kili hadn't really hoped for their conversation to take that turn so soon, though it was to be expected. A lot had happened. "I don't associate it with pain," he said oh so silently, no longer sleepy. "If I look back on things, it was obvious you weren't yourself. Most of the things happened after he told me he wasn't you. You saw, though. They said you were there all along, watching, powerless. You saw everything."

Fili had watched Kili as he'd kissed another. It hurt.

"It was my worst nightmare, having you do those things with someone else," Fili absently twisted the bedsheets in his hands. "But there was some elation too. You did think it was me. You love me. Kili, you _love_ me."

Kili shrugged. He didn't know what else to do, helpless as he was. It was the truth; Fili knew he loved him, and yet Kili still had no clue. He wondered how much longer his brother was going to keep up not telling him. It was agony, knowing that his secret was out, told to someone else, and the one in question didn't speak his thoughts. At least Fili didn't seem angry. That was something.

"Elation..." he copied the word aloud. How was he supposed to read it?

"Elation, yes," Fili told him, "because you said yes. You reciprocated his feelings... _my_ feelings. Alatar had been watching us for some time before he decided to take me. He knew how I felt about you. Hinged his choice on you feeling the same way. He took advantage of that. Of you. Of _us_. He used my love for you as a way into Erebor. I'm afraid to tell you how I feel now. I'm afraid you won't ever trust me again."

Kili looked at him carefully now. "Was anything he said a lie? When he said how much...you know?" He needed to know. "I feel awful, knowing you had to watch that. That I didn't notice the difference. I mean, I knew something was wrong with you, but I thought it was you being nervous. Something like that. If it's less than what he said it was, I need you to tell me now. I need to know."

_Am I your One?_

"A lie? No, Kili!" Fili sat up. "However much he claimed to love you—to want you—you must know that _I_ love and want you all the more. Kee, you are the most important thing in my world. You _are_ my world. I ache when we are apart. I would grow old with you, and you alone. Everything Thorin fears about my feelings for you is true."

A very, very small smile grew on the younger's face. It was slow in waking and even slower in reaching its full potential, but it never stopped prematurely until it was fully radiant.

What he said was quite the opposite. "If I ever see him again, I will kill him. He ruined—" 

Fili should have been the one telling him he loved him; not some stranger with his appearance. Kili's response shouldn't have been to him. They had been supposed to tell each other that day.

"—Never mind that. I don't think I told him the exact extent, either. You're my One, Fili. Thorin's not going to like that, but I'm done holding it back."

Despite the warning bells in his head telling him to stop, Fili launched himself at his brother, pulling him down next to him on the bed and simply holding him close and tight.

"Nothing is ruined," Fili murmured into his hair. "We still have each other. That's all I wanted, Kee."

Kili toppled gracelessly forward and against Fili. He quickly hurried up and pushed Fili off him, his eyes wide, though in surprise rather than fear. "Not just yet." He shook his head, his hair swaying. A chuckle ended the sentence. He looked shaken though. "I mean, we do have each other. By the Maker, you're mine and I'm yours. That's not changing. But a lot has happened. I don't want to rush it."

"I just want to hold you," Fili whispered mournfully. "Just hold you, Kee."

Kili flushed. "You can hold me. Of course you can hold me. We're on a bed and I just—"

"I haven't been able to touch you in ten days, nadadith," Fili reached for his hand. "I've been in agony. I've missed you so much!"

On the other side of the bed, Kili closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, they looked sleepy. "I missed you, brother." The word was affectionate. It didn't speak of family ties but of the closeness they had shared for all of their lives, the one that nobody else had been able to match, and no-one ever would. He squeezed the hand. "I haven't slept much. I'm sorry, I planned to be more awake when we'd see each other again."

"Then sleep, Kee," Fili bade him, smoothing down his bed-mussed hair, letting the hand linger. "But sleep here, with me? I'm not ready to leave your side yet."

"Uncle wants you out of bed today," Kili admitted, though nobody had yet informed Fili. "He said he wanted to take you out for a hunt. We both know how long it's been since he rode out. He thought it'd be a good time. Not that you're riding a lot, of course. He'll be hunting, him and his guests, in honour of you. It's a surprise. You can't go back to bed."

Fili was obviously disappointed. All he wanted was to spend time with Kili. 

"All right, then," he sighed and climbed out of bed, feeling only the slightest pull at the cut on his thigh. "I'll go down to meet Uncle and the Riders. But, Kee...I—"

In that short time, Kili had managed to fling himself forward and stolen Fili's still warm bed to himself. "Yes?"

Fili forced himself to smile at Kili's antics. "Nothing, k'hai," he assured him. "You rest. I'll spend the day in the field."

"Come here." Kili pulled the blankets up. "You'll not be needed there until a few hours from now. Not going back to sleep doesn't mean you need to leave at once."

"I-I don't _want_ to leave," Fili confessed, relieved. He sat down on the edge of the bed, hands itching to reach for Kili, but he couldn't handle any more rejection.

Kili had told him to take things slow. He was no fool though—he saw Fili's dejection and the way he didn't know how to behave around him. 

Pushing the blanket half down, he sighed and pulled Fili in to lie down as well. "I'm yours," he whispered into his hair. "Please do not mistake my lack of urgency with not wanting this. I do. But I'm terrified he's still here, even though you feel like you're you, and I don't want to make the same mistake twice."

"I _am_ me, nadadel," Fili assured him, a hand smoothing his hair. "The brother who loves you more than life itself." He leaned forward and lay a feather soft kiss on Kili's forehead next to the scar from his injury. 

Snuggling down next to Kili. "I won't let him hurt you again, Kili," he promised. "I'd die first."

Kili believed him. He pulled him closer like nothing of the past weeks had happened, so familiar, and closed his eyes. One hand sought for Fili's and danced circles on the back of it. It looked peaceful where they lay, both still and nearly asleep. It wasn't peaceful. Not yet. But it was a start.

Soon Kili's breath evened out.

He looked small, asleep in Fili's bed.

When Kili woke later that day, the other half of the bed was not empty. By the light outside, it had to have passed noon, yet Fili had fallen asleep next to him and not woken up. He considered waking him—Thorin was probably looking for them—but decided against it. Instead he snuggled warmly into the blankets.

Fili looked angelic. It seemed impossible that this man was not himself. He was, Kili knew that. Gandalf had, through a message by bird, assured him of it, and Thorin had stepped out of their way in not so many words. That didn't make it less scary. But Fili also visibly hurt from his reluctance. Kili breathed out. He leaned forward and oh so quietly stole a small kiss from his lips.

Though deeply asleep, those lips pulled up into a small smile...the first real smile Kili had seen from his brother since this ordeal had begun so many days ago.

It was as if this contact reminded Fili of the waking world. With a stretch and groan he rolled over, opening his eyes. Coming to alertness, he noticed the position of the sun in the sky. "Mahal!" he exclaimed. "I've slept the day away! Thorin will be furious with me, Kili!" Yet, his blue eyes still looked sleepy.

Kili snorted lazily. "He could have come to your rooms and found you. I didn't lock any doors. Don't worry. If you wait a few minutes, I'll come down with you. Take a bath. I'll braid your hair this once."

Fili's eyes lit up immediately at the prospect. "You will?" Like a small child, he bounded into the bath and fifteen minutes later was dressed and waiting for his brother to help him.

Fili had always been a bit vain about his hair, mostly due to the pride he felt in wearing his brother's handiwork. Maybe someday Kili too would allow him access to his tresses.

Although Kili wasn't aware of his hopes, had Fili spoken that wish out loud, he would have denied Fili to ever have the chance. He wasn't much for braids and niceties with his hair. A simple band or clasp was good enough for him—as long as it kept his hair out of his bow. He'd never gotten used to wearing metal in his hair or around his fingers.

With care he did Fili's instead, creating an intricate braid that showed all too well how much he was spoken for. Kili didn't tell Fili that, as it would be a surprise.

Fili did not check his reflection when he left his bedchamber that afternoon en route to find Thorin.

He did not lift a hand to his head to feel Kili's handiwork, for he trusted him implicitly.

The first person to notice Fili's One braid was the first person who he ran into on his way outside—Ori.

"Good morning, Ori," Fili smiled. "Or, I suppose I should say, good afternoon."

Kili moved past them with a smile—he knew—and turned as he walked ahead of them, waving at them with a brilliant smile. "I'll go on ahead. It's good to see you, Ori." He looked at both of them knowingly. "Thorin waits. I'll tell him you're on your way." When he left, there remained a momentary silence.

"What?" Fili questioned Ori's amused expression. "I know it's been awhile since I've been out and about. Do I really look so awful?" He looked down at himself, maybe a little thinner for the time he'd spent convalescing. He reached up with both hands to feel his hair, and one of them encountered...

"Oh goodness," he wondered. "What's this? Ori, has he done me up like a lass? He probably thinks it's hilarious, me going to see the Riders looking like this." Fili smiled and shook his head.

"Not like a lass," Ori stammered, looking at the hair. "Oh, I should tell you before Thorin sees you, if you don't know it already. They're braids that tell anyone looking at them that you're taken, Fili, that you're being courted. Did—did Kili do them?" 

"Yes," Fili's eyes lit up. "H—he did. Just now." A small burst of joyous laughter bubbled up from inside him, and the chill he'd been feeling disappeared. "Oh, but Thorin will—Aulë! Should I take them out, Ori?"

Ori thought hard about that, a doubtful expression not leaving him for the longest time.

"If you want to wear them, then don't take them out just for Thorin. But perhaps it's wisest if you show them in private first. He wouldn't approve of you showing them to the world before him." Ori slowly started to smile. "You want them in, don't you?"

"I do," Fili's eyes sparkled with happy relief, blue as the sky over Erebor. "Gods, yes, I do." He bit his lip. "But I was a lot less nervous when I didn't realize what he'd done. Where can I find my Uncle, Ori?" he asked his friend, who always seemed to know these things.

Ori smiled like he was decades his elder. "He should be in the throne room at this hour. Would you like me to walk with you and call him out to you?"

Then, less formal, he grinned, "So, Kili and you finally—" Ori gestured. "That's wonderful. Not that it'll be easy, I must say, but finally. I was beginning to think the both of you blind."

"Not blind," Fili blushed. "But we did recently have our eyes opened much wider," he patted his friend on the shoulder. "Please, do walk with me. But I certainly don't need to be announced. He knows full well who I am, bahel."

"To get him away from others so that he may see your braids himself first," Ori corrected. "Took you long enough." He was smiling. "I must imagine it's different when you've grown up alongside each other. Oh, it's wonderful, Fili, it truly is." Ori refused to bring up that they'd be looked down upon for loving a brother. Fili looked so happy that he didn't have the heart to mention it.

As they reached the throne room, he darted forward and said, "Wait here." Then Ori was off, closing the large doors behind him.

When the doors opened again, it was not Ori.

"Fili?" Thorin asked, confused. "Ori said you—" And his mouth stilled mid-sentence, for he noticed it at once.

"Uncle," Fili filled in the awkward silence. "It's my fault. I left my bedchamber without looking in the mirror first."

Thorin looked baffled. It was plain he didn't know how to respond, yet when he finally grasped everything, his expression was not one of acceptance.

"He is truly your One?"

" _Kili_ did this, Uncle," Fili was sure to clarify. "I hadn't realized he'd done it until Ori told me moments ago. I—I wouldn't have gone in public if I'd known. I don't wish to cause you further shame."

The happy look that had been on Fili's face when Thorin appeared had all but vanished. "Thorin, if you feel that my removing these braids and avoiding Kili and his advances would make Erebor a stronger kingdom, I would surely abide by your counsel. But, know that it is not my wish. I love him. We can be discrete. We will not bring you dishonor! I cannot imagine a life when I'm not allowed to love him, Thorin!"

"Be silent," commanded Thorin. He looked betrayed. "Do you want to wear them? Do you want to tell the world? Know this, Fili. There is nothing that will hurt Kili more than if you're ashamed of him. And if he is truly your One, then whatever you show the world should mean far less to you than how he feels."

Thorin straightened himself and walked past his nephew.

"I mean to say, do not assume you know my answer before you do. Had he been here, there's nothing more hurtful you could have said. You forget I care as much for him as I do for you. He's your One, and if you accept that and all it entails, be proud of him. All else will cease to matter with time. But don't apologize for one of my own."

"Yes, I want to wear them," Fili eagerly admitted, although he was hurt at the way Thorin spoke to him. "I feel no shame for loving him, other than that which _you_ have made me think I should. I have always known that Kili was my One. Since the first time I held him, and he squeezed my finger and smiled up at me, I felt it."

He reached up with a trembling hand to feel the intricate braid again. "Why are you making me defend my love for him to you? You, who only a week ago chastised me for my feelings? He is _everything_ to me, Thorin!"

"Last time," Thorin reminded him coolly, "you offered me something no one who had found his true love would ever offer someone else." He let it hang at that, but it did not take long before he added, "You also reminded me I have no right to speak to you of what you ought or ought not do. The one who had my heart left me too soon. The least you can do is make yours happy while you can. I would however appreciate it if you were careful about telling anyone else. Wear your braids. Let the world know there's someone. Let the world get used to that first."

"Uncle," Fili's face fell. "That wasn't me! I would never, _ever,_ speak to you in that manner, let alone say those words. I know of your tragedy. I think of it all the time and I pray that when Kili and I die, we die together, so I will never have to suffer as you have. I will wear the braids, of course," he said softly. "I want this, Thorin. I want him."

"Then go out there and wear them." Thorin nodded. He walked back to the door and held it open for Fili to follow. "And have Kili wear yours well before you tell people." He smiled then. "It's not what I had envisioned for either of you, I admit, but you are both worthy. And I would like your discretion about Frerin. Or what the wizard promised."

Fili was more than a little hurt that Thorin didn't trust him not to speak of Frerin. It had been a family secret often whispered about—and more loudly spoken in taverns—but Fili never spoke of it. For the truth of it cut too close to his own heart.

He tried to envision what his uncle might be like, if Frerin were still alive. If they were happily together, ruling as one. But it hurt his heart too much to imagine something Thorin was destined not to have. He could merely nod, lest Thorin hear the pain in his voice. 

But he and Kili...their lives would be much different. They would grow old together. When Thorin died, Fili would be king—with Kili at his side. Fili raised his head proudly at the notion and took his leave of Thorin. 

Thorin cleared his throat and nodded at the throne room. "Now that we've had this conversion, your brother and our guests are awaiting your arrival."

"I—" Fili's throat suddenly went dry. "Very well, Uncle," he squared his shoulders. "Let's not keep them waiting."

Thorin chuckled. "You seem nervous."

"I have no idea what lies beyond that door," Fili admitted. "Only that I left them waiting all day while I lazed in bed."

"Recovering. If that is all you're concerned about..." Thorin pushed the doors open and walked in. There weren't many people; it wasn't a full court in session. Balin smiled at him welcomingly and Dwalin laughed as soon as his eyes fell upon the braids. All of the men from Rohan did not notice, for they were unaware of many of the traditions of dwarves that were hard to translate.

As they didn't see, Thorin decided to speak up. "Fili, son of Dis. Still recovering of wounds from an unfortunate battle last week," Thorin threw Fili a smiling look. He'd given him the honor of being viewed as a warrior in the eyes of men, as well as dignified to come here while he was still recovering. The rest was up to Fili.

"Welcome to Erebor," he greeted the party of men. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to greet you when you arrived. Your horsemanship is legendary. Our stables must pale in comparison to yours. I understand you're riding out again soon?"

"And you with us, we hoped," one of them, who looked to be the leader, looked up and watched Fili closely. "Not so if you are still recovering. We heard you've been bed-ridden for nearly a week. Perhaps tomorrow, or the day after that." Fili didn't catch the look that Thorin gave. The riders had previously informed them they would be leaving shortly. Kili brightened immediately, which gave Thorin no reason not to like this decision. "If," the man added, "your king deems it all right. He's told us much about you. My men have gotten quite intrigued by the man behind the name. Your brother refused to join us in the hunt until you would. It would be our honor."

Thorin inclined his head. "Of course."

"Ah, wonderful. Now, as to our stables, we've wanted for nothing here. But if you are interested, I would like to invite you to come and see our stables yourselves some time."

"What I wouldn't give to try riding an actual horse instead of a pony," Fili remarked, smiling fondly at his brother. "We have wonderful ponies, don't get me wrong...but they cannot match the speed of one of your fine stallions, I'm sure. Uncle, surely I'm well enough to join them?" he turned to Thorin.

Thorin looked to Kili, who sat beside him by his left. "What do you think?"

Kili bit his lip. "Not riding. The wound on his leg is still raw." He looked apologetically at Fili, who had to be thankful that Kili didn't mention the wound being on his thigh to their company. "Though if we go by foot, I'm sure he will be fine."

The man got up from his seat. "He should not hunt if he's still recovering. I am sorry."

Fili wanted to be angry at his brother for spoiling his fun. "I'd risk tearing a few of Oin's stitches for a ride on one of those stallions," he whispered in Kili's ear, lips lingering. "But I appreciate your concern, nadadel. Then a spectator I shall have to be," Fili smiled around at them. "As long as the ale keeps flowing I'll find a way to grin and bear it."

"Then it shall flow," Thorin stated, while Kili smiled apologetically at Fili. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I know how much you want this. Your wounds aren't healed properly." The chafing of a leather saddle against his brother's inner thighs would only be uncomfortable, and Kili wanted Fili to heal rather than send him back to Oin's abode. "I'm sure you can sit on a stallion and take a slow pace, but running would be too much." His eyes glanced over the braids, who were still there, then at Thorin, who had most definitely seen.

"You're still wearing them," Kili said between them.

"I am," Fili smiled broadly. "It was Ori who pointed them out to me, and it nearly gave him palpitations to do so. You are very sneaky, nadad."

Fili wished they were alone, but they were not. "I _will_ be on a stallion by the end of the day, one way or another," he vowed.

Kili looked him over, made a very careful note about Thorin's directed attention, and then said, "Are you implying something, dearest brother?" He smugly looked in front of himself, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. "The braids look good on you."

"I ought to wipe that self-satisfied look off your face with a kiss, little brother," Fili smiled, his mind going to places it shouldn't in the presence of company and their uncle, the king. 

"Says the one who vows to have a stallion under him," Kili fired back. "You should be careful what you wish for. But by all means, I won't hold it against you if you decide a kiss is what I need."

"Oh, I've already decided it," Fili grinned impishly. "The question is—when, where and how will I manage it with all these visitors around?"

"Haven't you heard?" Kili threw him a look full of promise. "We're going hunting this afternoon."

"Hunting," Fili repeated after him. "I wonder what exactly it is we will find out there." He gestured vaguely towards the throne room's window. "I can't wait."

Kili quickly looked ahead when he noticed Thorin's glance at both of them. The corners of his lips tugged up nonetheless. "Looking forward to it, brother." That said, he focused his attention back on the company and the conversation in question. One moment he couldn't hold back and whispered, "I would be disappointed if you did find a stallion to bear you during the day."

Kili's tone sent a shudder of desire through Fili. There was no doubt, now, in his mind, that Kili had accepted that he was no longer a blue wizard in disguise. He found it increasingly more difficult to focus on his uncle and the delegation from Rohan—with Kili's naughty grin visible out of the corner of his eye.

The hunt, between the two of them, was more a distraction than it was the event of the day. Sure, Kili loved to mount his own horse and have it prance by Fili, feeling very small himself. He loved to spur it on and see how fast it could go, knowing only those on their own mounts were going to be able to catch up with him. 

But when the company was rowdy and were making moves to chase a fox in the distance, Kili held back his horse on purpose. When nobody but Fili paid attention, he jumped off it and challenged him to make a decision. Late afternoon sunlight streamed through the trees in golden shafts, glinting off his dark hair.

"Let's take a little break," Fili suggested, reaching for Kili's hand. "They surely aren't expecting us to catch up with them." He pulled his sibling deeper into the woods, where there were less prying eyes.

Kili kept his hands on the reins at all times. His horse was trusting, although it towered above him, especially with his own feet on the forest soil, and could have easily pulled himself free. He'd heard stories of a Rohan horse always returning to its stables. He wondered if their own ponies could be taught such a thing. He quietly walked ahead until he found a tree with a trunk strong enough to hold the reins, and comfortable enough for the horse as well.

As soon as both his hands were free, he turned around and walked backwards, his eyes latched onto Fili.

"Hey."

"You sneaky little devil," Fili smiled, backing Kili towards a tree. "I can't believe you sent me out, all done up like that. Those...those braids," he stammered, heart thudding like a hammer on an anvil, "without warning me first."

Soon, Kili had nowhere to go. "What a wonderful surprise," Fili told him, caressing his cheek. "Thank you, Kee."

They were alone. Kili made sure of that quickly before his focus was solely on Fili. "You're mine now, aren't you? I needed to let everyone know they had no more claims on you. You can do my hair sometime if you want." His body felt on fire, even more so because there was nowhere to go—and yet there was, the narrow tree being but an excuse for him to stay where he was, which made the difference between being cornered and being there because that was where he wanted to be. He smiled up, his lips dry and licking them tentatively.

"I don't have your hands, your skill, when it comes to braiding...but I want to learn," Fili told him. "Maybe you can help me, nadadel." He leaned in and lay a soft kiss to Kili's neck, lips sliding softly up to his ear. "When Ori told me what you'd done," Fili whispered, "you cannot imagine the pride I felt. I was so scared you'd reject me, Kili."

"Of course I wouldn't," Kili breathed in reply. "I love you. But I think that maybe you should kiss me properly first before I decide you're going too fast for me to keep up."

"I think so too," Fili told him, and slipped his arms around Kili's back, holding him tightly. He was exactly where he wanted to be the first time he kissed Kili—outdoors in the sunshine, not under layers of stone in the dark.

When his lay his lips to Kili's, he hoped his brother could fathom the difference between this kiss and the one given by his imposter. Fili poured everything he was feeling into it.

Perhaps he paid more attention to it than his brother did; to Kili, there was no comparison. Just like the first time he'd not expected Fili to be anyone else, so was he sure this time he had the right partner. That by itself was more than enough. But if there was one notable difference, it was that he felt like it was just the two of them. No matter their host nearby, no matter the birds in the trees and the proximity of the mountain that was their home, it was just Fili and him, feeling himself grow increasingly warmer despite the cool season.

It took little time before Kili stopped thinking. When he did, he pulled Fili flush against him, draped his arms over his shoulders, and kissed him hard. They didn't have long.

"Mmm, Kili," Fili gasped, when he finally allowed himself to pull away for some much-needed oxygen, "I can't go back to the hunt looking like this." Blushing, he looked down between them. Neither would be able to hide their tented trousers. One of his hands slid lower to cup Kili's firm little ass. "Surely Uncle will forgive us a few minutes more?"

Kili laughed, entirely unperturbed. He pushed himself up against Fili once again. "Just a few minutes. Thorin would be mad if we stayed away longer than that, considering nobody officially knows about us yet. I plan to make up for that tonight."

Fili's eyes grew noticeably wider. "Brother," he drew back, smiling. "I'm very pleasantly surprised by these...developments." 

Eagerly, he pressed a thigh forward between Kili's, nudging against the hardness he found there. "Waiting is going to be _torture_ ," he told him, slotting his mouth over his brother's once again.

A quick glance of insecurity revealed itself in Kili's response then. "I want to spend time with you. More time, without sneaking around like we could get caught at a moment's notice. Proper time." That meant he implied nothing like doing something about their current physical predicament. But Kili knew himself well enough that if it happened naturally, he stood little chance against the force of it. "I can't—I should take this slow, Fee. So much has happened. Now look at me."

"I _am_ looking at you, nadadel," Fili told him. "You're the loveliest thing I've ever seen. Whatever you want," he conceded, "however you want it. I promise," he vowed, caressing Kili's cheek. 

Kili laughed, his deep chuckle a welcome sounds in the surrounding quiet. "Lasses are lovely. I'm not a lass." His lips nipped at Fili's. "I had to kiss you. I just...had to." He pulled himself away and drew Fili's travel cloak further forward, tying the sash around his middle to cover most of it happening underneath. "There. Sit this one out. I'll find you tonight."

"But you are so, so lovely," Fili told him, "like it or not." 

He chuckled at his predicament. "It will go down on its own. I just need to think of lessons with Balin, memorizing the Durin family tree, or harvesting herbs with Bombur..."

Kili scowled. "I think I'll be just fine now." Which was good at least; Fili only had to sit on a horse, Kili had to actually ride it and let it run. He took one more kiss, willingly given, before he started pulling Fili back to the horses. Already Thorin was probably drawing his own conclusions and hoping to everything he believed in that he was wrong. If he found part of those conclusions to be true—Kili quickened his pace. He had looked forward to his time alone with the other. Now that he had, it was too short. Kili helped Fili back onto his horse before untying his own. The forest around them lured them to get off again and lie down on a patch of moss somewhere to fall asleep.

"Be somewhere I can find you tonight," Kili told Fili, before he gave his mount the spurs.

Despite never having had actual horses for their own use, Kili took to riding one like a duck to water. Fili was drawn to the way Kili's thigh muscles gripped the horse's grey flank as they cantered off. That, of course, only made his arousal worse. He was grateful for the powerful beast beneath him, an excuse to sit with his trousers bunched up, and his horse's deep, dark mane to pet as he sat in a patch of sunlight and wished it were already nightfall.


	8. Clasps and Braids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt is over and night has drawn nigh. Kili and Fili finally have some time alone together.

They never caught the fox they had ridden out for, but soon shouts of victory sounded off to Kili's left and he directed his mount there to join up with the others. Thorin looked at him suspiciously as Kili joined with them again and noticed a dead boar on the forest floor before them. He said nothing, made no excuses, but he did join in the company's joy. "Another," he laughed, "so that I may witness you as you hunt."

Nobody needed to be told twice. They waited for Fili to arrive and hoisted the beast up on the cart, pulled by the single pony in their company, before they rode out again. Kili's horse stilled a short distance away and he smiled at Fili once, and then too he was off.

But night took its sweet time, for when they returned to the entrance of the mountain, sounds of a banquet rose. Fili and Kili were among the first to be invited. Kili shared a look with Fili.

They couldn't very much decline.

That night, Kili kept looking to his left, where Fili sat, at the large table. His fingers were greasy from food and his lips just so. He'd already gotten two very specific warnings from Thorin to sit straight, but he couldn't help himself. His foot kept searching out Fili's.

Fili's stomach was filled with delicious, tender pork, corn and vegetables from the palace gardens. He'd tried to drink the ale sparingly, but the sight of Kili's soft lips and the electric feel of his booted foot against his under the massive oak table did not make that an easy resolution.

"What a wonderful meal, Uncle," Fili complimented the king. "Surely the Riders will remember your hospitality for years to come."

He handed a napkin to his little brother, raising an eyebrow.

Kili simply sniggered at the compliment. He knew how much trouble Fili was going through to keep their under-the-table attentions a secret. It earned him an odd look from Thorin though, so he felt forced to don his most complimenting expression and say, "They sure will. And if not that, then certainly the ale, which they certainly seem to be appreciating. Do you think they'll get headaches like us if they drink too much? I always wondered."

"Oh, goodness," Ori spoke up from Kili's other side. "Men suffer from the drink much more than we do, Kili. We must count ourselves fortunate in that regard."

"Fortunate," Fili smiled, squeezing his brother's thigh under the table. 

"Fortunate?" scowled Kili. "You clearly haven't drunk as much as me, or you would not be saying that."

"Fortunate," Fili smiled, "for me. I'll rather enjoy you pliable and docile, nadadith," he whispered into the curtain of Kili's dark hair.

Ori's eyes grew wide when he overheard.

"And grumpy," Kili pointed out, not noticing Ori's expression. "And this afternoon you said you wanted a stallion. What's this about me just lying there?"

"There's much I can accomplish with you simply lying there," Fili raised his own napkin and wiped at a spot on Kili's face he'd missed. "You could be _my_ stallion."

Kili leaned in close. "You would have to tame me first."

"Impossible," Fili's blue eyes shone. "Both impossible, and undesirable."

Next to them, Ori groaned. "Would you _please_ take this elsewhere?" he begged.

It wasn't until that point that Kili understood Ori had listened to everything they said. He flushed and moved to get up, offering Thorin—who looked at him at once—an apologetic smile. "I'm really tired," he said. "The hunt must have worn me out. Your permission to leave?"

It was the intention that Fili excused himself not much later, but Kili could only hope that Fili understood.

Fili felt instantly sorry for Ori. He wished for his friend to be the recipient of the same ardor and passion he felt for Kili. A part of him had always felt that perhaps Ori had feelings for his little brother, and he felt sorry that Ori had to witness what he'd just heard. He tried to convey all of this with a smile at the redhead, but Ori looked away, fiddling with his silverware.

"I too am tired, Uncle," Fili turned instead to Thorin. "Kili was right. I should not have been riding today. I ache all over. I think I too shall retire."

Of course, as Fili hadn't waited long enough, Thorin eyed him suspiciously. "You are sure?" he asked. "You would not be telling me this only to sneak off, would you? I should remind you our guests will be leaving here shortly, and their time is sparse."

"If you feel I should stay longer, I will, Uncle," Fili conceded. "Although I'm not terribly sure what more I can do for our guests other than refill their ales or fluff their pillows. They all look ready to lay down or fall down," he observed. "A true sign of a successful celebration."

Thorin's smile did grow proud at that. "Very well. But I expect you up tomorrow at dawn, if you're going to rest so early. Now, off you go." He looked slightly ill at ease, what with Gandalf still not back and Bilbo not present for reasons that he had not shared with either of his nephews.

"Are you sure?" Fili studied his face carefully. "Uncle, you look a bit...well, you look exhausted. I'm sorry I haven't been well enough to do my duties."

"It's not your duty, son. Go, before I change my mind."

Fili's eyes widened at the use of the term 'son'. He could honestly say he couldn't recall Thorin using it before...maybe once.

"Very well, Thorin," he swallowed thickly the emotion welling up in his chest. "I'll go check on Kili then before I retire. I believe he may, as usual, have had a bit too much ale."

Thorin inclined his head before he returned to the guests on the other side of his throne. He glanced at Ori once, looking a little forlorn, and patted the now vacant seat next to him. "Sit with me," he said. They were once comrades on a journey to reclaim a home. Thorin did not forget.

\- - - - 

Kili was preparing for at least twenty minutes before Fili would follow him. He lay on Fili's bed humming a tune to pass the time.

Fili slipped silently into his room and paused, listening momentarily to Kili's song. Recently, Kili's voice had grown deeper, as if their quest to reclaim Erebor and the subsequent responsibilities that followed had matured him. In that song, he could hear the voice of his own long-dead father.

But that wasn't something Kili needed to know. It wasn't proper to think such thoughts about a man he wanted to kiss.

Unaware, the song continued. It was faint, hardly audible at best, and Kili certainly did not perform for an audience. He rolled around on the bed, taking in the scent that was Fili, brimming with anticipation. His body was on edge already—and Fili wasn't yet here.

Maybe he should head back and just drag him over here, he thought, or he was sure his hands were going to wander and then there would be nothing left for Fili to get from him.

Fili continued to smile as he watched Kili from the darkened entryway. Kili was soaking up the smell of him, and the notion made Fili hard in his trousers. It was time.

A part of him cried out that it was too soon, far too soon for Fili to consider claiming his brother. Although he wasn't so sure exactly which of them was making the actual claim. They had been one another's for so, so long. Did it really matter anymore?

Fili stepped out into the torchlight. "Beautiful song, brother," he told Kili with a sly grin.

Kili rose from the pillow to look. He fell back down with a grin and twisted to look at the older better. "Not a song. You're here." Everything about him screamed wanting—even though he shouldn't. They were moving fast enough for Kili to get scared, the moment he stopped to think. Not because it was Fili, but because Kili had learned nothing from the past events with Alatar, or perhaps he refused to listen to them. "Thorin let you go then?"

"It was against his better judgment," Fili chuckled, slowly removing his outer vestments. "For he knew what was going to happen when I left him. He knew I was coming directly to you, nadad."

Soon, all of Fili's clothing save only his smallclothes lay in a puddled pile next to the bed. Still, he stood gazing down at Kili. "You seem tame enough now," he observed.

"Do I look like a man who has gotten started?" Kili couldn't help but notice the opposite to be true, with Fili nearly undressed and he himself still fully clothed. He propped himself up to sit up on the bed, his bare feet digging into the sheets before him temptingly. "Did you lock the door?" Kili hated to have Thorin come and check on them, or anything equally horrifying.

Fili walked to the door and slid the bolt across. "There now," he whispered. "No interruptions. Can I...help you undress?"

Kili chuckled. "I know how to get out of these clothes. But I don't think I can." He felt like if he would fumble with buttons and his tunic would just be worse. "So please."

Fili crawled in next to him and sat on the edge of the bed, thigh just touching Kili's. "Very well," he leaned forward and undid the iron clasp on Kili's belt. It fell open and he carefully slid it out from beneath him. 

With a smile, he undid the top buttons of Kili's formal dinner tunic, then the next, until they all lay open, revealing a gilt-edged smallshirt. "Gold," Fili observed, "it's very becoming on you." He leaned forward and lay his lips against Kili's neck, nibbling there. "Very, very becoming."

"I made it," Kili whispered, for he dared not speak louder. He found it remarkable how Fili continued to go for his neck rather than kiss him on the lips like lovers would. It was like the task was daunting to him. That was why he leaned in and captured Fili's lips instead, luring them away. "I can make you something some time. It would be...so wonderful to see you wear something I made."

Not that Kili intended it, but already he was leaning back with Fili hovering over him. So much for the fight he was putting up.

"Arrows, intricate braids and now undershirts," Fili gasped, pulling away from Kili's soft lips, but he continued to look at them. "Is there nothing your hands can't accomplish?"

He was eager to rip that intricately-embroidered shirt right off his wriggling sibling.

"Just the details of the shirt." Kili panted as he moved himself in uncomfortable positions to get his breeches properly off and not, as he knew was a very big possibility, pooling around his knees or his ankles to become impediments. "I don't know. I hope there isn't, but I haven't done _this_ before."

With a swing, he rolled them around, pushed his nearly naked bottom down against Fili's obviously restrained desire and gasped. That was much more than he expected.

"You are a bit inebriated, k'hai," Fili smiled. "Serves you right, I suppose, for trying to keep up with full grown men. Still," he mused, "they will be the ones feeling the after-effects tomorrow morning."

He lowered a hand to Kili's rump and stilled him. "You're making _me_ dizzy, too."

Kili scowled. "I am just fine. I would not be here doing this if I wasn't." It was the first time they would do this. He didn't plan on having that befuddled in the morning by gaps in his memory, or the thought of passing out or throwing up somewhere halfway through. Sure, he had had a few, but he had kept it down very well. "Are you too inebriated to regret this?"

"Not I," Fili squeezed Kili's ass cheek. "My head is completely unmuddled by drink," he gave Kili's ass a little slap, but didn't take his eyes off it for a quiet moment.

Slowly, he rolled Kili back onto his back and dipped his fingers beneath the waistband of Kili's smallclothes, sliding them every so slowly down, eyes widening appreciatively as Kili's cock, surrounded by a thatch of thick, dark curls, came in to view.

"I should like," Fili told him, "to taste."

Kili's lips ran dry. He stammered, his large eyes looking up, "And you will, in due time. But let me look at you first, and then touch me with your hands." It was like Fili was skipping all the moments that Kili was so eager for.

Fili's hand slowly went to the drawstring of his own small clothes and he casually loosened them. His arousal was immediately evident. "I'm not trying to rush you, Kili," he frowned. "I'm sorry."

Fili sat back on his haunches, taking in the sight of his brother's dark skin glinting by the fire's glow. "I feel as if I have been waiting forever for this. To look at you, touch you, and—yes—taste you."

"The door's closed, Fee." Kili finally dared to touch with fingertips where before had been only the passive touch of lying underneath one. "We have all night." With curious eyes he followed his fingertips as they moved from the relatively safe regions of his abdomen to his flank, then down the dangerous territory of coarse hair. "I've seen you naked countless times, but never like this."

“But I knew when you were just looking, and I knew when you were truly _watching_ ," Fili put his hand over Kili's. "You put those braids in my hair this morning, just as I was about to give up hope that you wanted me as much as I wanted you."

He lay down next to his brother, skin touching skin from knee to shoulder. "I was so afraid that Alatar had pushed us apart. That you'd fear me now. It would have been my worst nightmare," he confessed, pushing an errant strand of hair from Kili's forehead and kissing the spot where it had been.

The newfound pace quieted his brother pleasantly. Kili closed his eyes, his heartbeat picking up even as he tried to calm it down. But Kili didn't want to calm down. "I would never fear you," he shook his head, reaching forward for the sweetest nip, short and yet telling of a world in which they were one. "I do fear others pretending to be you. I'm sorry. I know nobody is keeping you any more." He smiled. "I'm going way too fast, I know that, but please don't stop." His own fingers twirled into Fili's hair and gently undid the braids from his hair. "Let me see you how you were made."

"Whatever you want, Kee," Fili responded, leaning into the hand in his hair. "Whatever and however, it's what you shall have." He entwined their ankles together and pulled the covers up a bit to cover them to the waist.

Kili pushed them off again. "No hiding." He put the undone clasps out of the way. The warm covers felt strange against his skin, while he practically had the same kind of sheet in his own rooms. They didn't hold Fili's scent. Not yet. Fili's hair fell unbound over his shoulder. Kili thought it made him look natural. In one motion, he reached back for his own single clasp and undid that too. It was surprising how naked it made him feel, despite the years of adamantly denying more clasps and braids.

"Fee?" he whispered. A long silence followed. When Kili's voice broke it, it sounded small. "Do something." 

The small, plaintive tone of Kili's voice was Fili's undoing. It reminded him of past fevers, when Kili was sick and wanted no one but his big brother there to take care of him. How in his delirium he'd begged for Fili to 'do something' to make him feel better. No matter what Fili did, it always helped. He knew now that it was because of their bond. 

"Kee," his voice was husky as he pushed the thick curtain away from where it covered Kili's chest. He leaned down and kissed him directly over his heart, thumb toying ever so gently with a nipple. "I love you."

Kili's breath hitched—and then it picked up. "I love you," he whispered in reply, but not really in reply. Loving Fili was never as simple as a sentence voiced when prompted. His eyes once again fluttered shut and this time, the tiniest moan followed it. "Kiss me there."

"Yes, Kee," and Fili bent to the task, warm lips closing over the aforementioned nipple, tongue laving. He ran his hand down Kili's warm flank, clinging to him, steadying him. He drove his lips higher, up Kili's chest, and neck and along his jaw until they again found his mouth. 

There, the tongue delved and teased, as if mining for precious gems.

It was maddeningly wonderful, the way Fili's lips felt against him. Kili arched and stretched, his hands burying themselves once again in Fili's hair and holding him in place as he kissed back with equal fervor. Their lips met and parted, moving apart only for short breaths, and whenever their tongues met, Kili felt like he was dying the most deliriously beautiful death.

But against Kili's desire to take things slow, he quickly became aware of the way their hips slotted together, moved together, and pressed the very center of their arousal to rub against the other. As soon as Kili truly paid attention to that, he threw his head back and pushed Fili down. If this was going to continue much longer, he'd never last. Already his hips bucked up for the friction.

"We don't have to—you know— _consummate_ our feelings or anything tonight," Fili nuzzled into his face, hand slipping down Kili's stomach towards the dark trail of hair that led from his navel to his penis. "But I would like to do something about this," he said, hand closing gently but firmly over Kili's erection.

Kili nodded fervently. "Whatever you want," he bit the inside of his hand, "but do something. Oh, Aulë, this—this—"

Not so gently, his fingers dug into Fili's shoulders. "Right now, I'm dying to have you in me, brother."

"No," Fili said gently. "Kili, not tonight. It's far too soon for that," he told him, although he wanted it desperately. 

"Let us just...get acquainted with one another better," Fili offered, slowly beginning to rub Kili's arousal with his hand, enveloping it. "Let me see what you like," he sped up a bit.

Kili looked at him so pleadingly, but he soon gave up when Fili's current ministrations were working hard on driving him insane. "That's—that's good," he said. "A little more firmly, if that's—" For his words, Kili ought to feel ashamed. He only checked if they flustered Fili, as that was all that mattered. He did want Fili in him—that passion burned brighter than the sun. It wasn't so bad though for Fili to safeguard the virtue Kili seemed to have all but lost.

As he rubbed, Fili found himself kissing down Kili's chest, towards his navel and lower. His unbandaged hand, which had been on Kili's cock, slid lower into the soft downy hair covering his balls. 

This close to Kili's crotch, the musky aroma of arousal hung in the air. "I know you said I shouldn't," Fili whispered, "but I just _have_ to." He leaned over and took the tip of Kili's erect shaft into his mouth, moaning as salty precum exploded over his tongue.

Kili no longer cared. The moment Fili's hot saliva and then his firm tongue touched his stretched sensitive skin, he let out a suppressed, yet still considerably wanton, moan. He didn't care. As long as Fili gave him more of that, he truly could do whatever he wanted with him. Kili wasn't new to the concept of a man's mouth on his cock from meaningless youthful tumbles. That however meant nothing when it was his One, with his body already sensitised thanks to having been anticipating something for half a day now. They should never have kissed in the forest. It had been Kili's undoing.

"Nh," he panted, " _Fili_. Oh, what you do to me." His legs spread wider in invitation.

"Want you to come," Fili told him. "You _will_ come, atamanel," he lowered his mouth again. Soft golden hair fell around him as he slowly deep-throated Kili's cock, nose buried in the curls at its base. He swallowed once it hit the back of his throat, and had to steady his lover with a hand on his stomach lest he buck up too much and choke him.

Fili's wet, warm mouth milked and cajoled him until Kili was ready to explode, if the insistent hands in his hair were any indication of his want.

And Kili did try to tug him off. And push himself deeper. But tug him off. Horror and blissful absence of care warred inside him. All the while his head tossed from left to right to bite at a pillow or fail and breath deeply instead. His very breath was a map of the things that turned him on.

A few minutes ago, he had vowed to keep himself from coming until he'd gotten Fili equally far. In that short while, his resolve had faltered and gone from him. At last his hips stuttered and lost the rhythm, and Kili thrust forward with a hoarse cry of abandon. He nearly came again when Fili didn't pull away.

There was no hesitation on Fili's part. He held steadily onto Kili, drinking him down and milking him through the aftershocks until he was sated and placid.

"I've wanted to do that since Ori told me about the braids, azyungal," Fili told him. "I want to do that every night...and every morning, if you'll let me."

Speechless, Kili could only nod. As soon as Fili unlatched from him, he rolled onto his side and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, there was still Fili. His One, who would always be his, here and in the afterlife. He gathered his breath and whispered, "And what about me?" Not that he felt fit to do anything right now, but god, the idea of Fili writhing underneath him would have him up in no time. "That was so...so good. I want to make you feel that way. Don't make me wear the braids for a full day before you let me do this to you too."

Fili chuckled. 'First, you'll have to teach me how to make the braids." He buried his face in Kili's unruly dark hair. "Although I simply cannot imagine your hair any other way than this." He inhaled the scent as if trying to commit it to memory.

"When you're ready," Fili whispered. "I'm yours. Whenever and however."

Kili grinned back, sated and tired. "Give me ten minutes."

Fili wrapped an arm around Kili and pulled his head to rest on his shoulder. "All right, Kee," he said with an agreeable yawn. "A short nap it is, then." He pulled the covers up around them.

They awoke to golden streaming sunlight the next morning.

"Mh, your chambers are much lighter than mine," came the first complaint—Kili. He squinted his eyes and rolled over, before realizing where he was. Then he immediately rolled back and smiled with every fiber of his being. "Morning, sunshine."

"Our nap wound up being a bit longer than I expected," Fili yawned, snuggling closer. "Thorin said he expects me at dawn," he frowned. "I'm hoping he wasn't serious."

"If he waits ten more minutes, I can help you fully wake up," Kili smiled a naughty little smile. 

Was this real? Was he in the same bed as the one he'd always wanted, and there was nobody there to push him out?

Fili propped himself up on one elbow, licked his lips, and smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for? We don't want to anger Uncle."

He found himself straddled within the span of two seconds.

"On it."

When they appeared before Thorin, thirty minutes had passed, of which three had been spent for a quick rinse instead of a proper bath; for twenty minutes Kili had kept his love squirming on the bed, and the remainder had been spent on patience, patience and more patience, while Fili worked through the tangle of his hair to fix Kili a courtship braid of his own.

The thing looked rather messy, but there was no-one who dared tell Kili, who glowed like it was the best day of his life.

"Good morning, Uncle," Fili beamed. It dimmed a bit as Thorin studied Kili's hair from where he sat on his throne.

Kili just continued to beam. But Fili was eventually called to a not-amused Thorin, where he was bidden to return to his chambers, take his brother with him, and get him a proper braid. "It's his first day," Thorin said. "You have to do better than that." 

"Have you seen how much he squirms?" Fili complained. "I'll have to sit on him to do it properly!"

Fili suddenly realized that he didn't mind that idea one bit.

Thorin merely coughed, looked around uncomfortably, and muttered, "Fili, _please_."

"I'll do better next time, Uncle, I promise," Fili assured him. When they got to the privacy of the family wing, he took Kili's hand in his own. "See? I told you I could get us some more time alone!"

A kiss shut him up and forced him against the back of the door. "Thank goodness. How did you?" Kili was all ears.

"Oh, your braid," he smiled. "It looks dreadful. I knew Thorin would never abide by it. We'll just have to keep practicing," he nipped at Kili's ear, "until I get it right."

Kili's smile fell, but temporarily. That's when he thought what was in it for him. The following logic dismayed him again. "So everyone will know, the moment I walk around with a lousy braid, you're plotting to have me?"

Fili chuckled. "I doubt I'll get away with it more than once," he caressed Kili's face. "Everyone knows what a perfectionist I am."

"And your next move, after that wears down?" Kili was already getting rid of the braids in Fili's hair. He looked forward to the day they wore matching braids together. That would be something they'd have to discuss with Thorin first, probably, even though it was just a formality. He didn't want to remove his own braids, no matter how horrible they apparently were.

"After that, I'm all out of moves," Fili pulled a clip from the side of Kili's hair, and another from the other side. "Then, we'll have to get creative."

He guided Kili to his bed, and down onto his back, where he promptly straddled his hips. "Besides, your hair's just going to get mussed all over again right now."

Kili laughed and pulled him down. "I think Thorin is going to kill us if we stay away too long. Technically, you're only supposed to fix my hair."

"Have you _seen_ your hair, azyungal?" Fili leaned to press a wet kiss to his neck. "This could take hours."

"And you allowed me to go out looking like this?" Kili nipped at his shoulder. His hands were already making short work of divesting Fili of his clothes.

"Only briefly," Fili's mustache tickled the underside of Kili's jaw and he rubbed his own arousal down against his brother's as he straddled his hips. "It was for the common good."

Kili grunted his reply in a way that it could be anything, both good and bad, but it didn't really matter. "I've never seen you so irresponsible," he breathed, hard for the man above him. Kili didn't need to add to that; his eyes twinkled in mirth. "People are going to know me as the bad influence." As if to illustrate that, his fingers pressed against Fili's clothed cock. "Your time, brother."

Fili lowered his head and groaned wantonly. "All that talk yesterday," he breathed and repositioned himself so that their erections were in direct contact, "of riding and stallions," he took a handful of Kili's hair in his hand. "How desperately I wanted to take your mane in my hands and ride you." A few sinuous rotations of his hips had them both panting for more.

"I know," grinned Kili. That had been his intention. "And you'll get to ride me, sooner than you know." He broke off speaking further words in favor of biting his lower lip. The motions Fili made were turning him on incredibly, to the point where his skin became clammy and his fingers itched for skin. "But it's my turn to taste you first."

But Fili was enjoying the feel of his sibling beneath him far too much. All that sinew, muscle and energy, packed into a pretty little package. Every wriggle sent sparks of desire through him. He wasn't quite ready to relinquish control.

"Gods, Kee," he groaned. "It's not fair, wanting you like I do."

Kili laughed. In one smooth motion, he rolled both of them around, his hands blindly fumbling around Fili's breeches to get them off. "How is it not fair? I'm yours. That makes it more than fair. You have no idea how much I want you too, do you?"

"Oh," Fili chuckled at their reversed positions, "that part's fair. It's being in throne room, when I'm supposed to be chatting up a delegation from the Iron Hills, but all I can think about is a particular spot on your neck I'd like to lick, the way your skin tastes in the morning, or the feeling of your ass in my hand..."

Hips ground down against his in reply. "You've got me now, you know." Kili spoke more quietly now. "And tomorrow, and every day after that. No matter how many times I will enjoy frustrating you—" and Kili would, and already was, "—you can always do something about it afterward."

He slipped down on the bed, yanked Fili's breeches down at last, and took him down in one easy swallow.

Fili let out a pleasured gasp and his hands flew to Kili's hair to ground himself.

"Oh! K'hai!" he cried. "So very, very good!" He made to trap Kili between his powerful thighs, but the injury reminded him that he couldn't. He allowed his legs to fall back open quite willingly as he spiralled towards completion with embarrassing quickness.

The younger wasn't prepared for it to go this fast—but he'd be damned if he didn't love it. With a grin around Fili's cock, he worked him to the best and most eager of his ability, using the signs that Fili was getting close to his advantage by slowing down just then. If he thought that would slow Fili down, he was wrong.

When he finally pulled away, licking his lips and cleaning the last bits of his despoiling, Kili looked at the writhing mess that was his One.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

Fili smiled up at him, a sated, debauched smile that would not be suited for greeting guests in the throne room. "I love you too, my One. My beautiful azyungal," he replied, arms encircling Kili and drawing him near. "Thank you...for trusting me. For believing in me."

"Didn't I always?" Kili kissed him and rolled them both on their sides. "Just because someone decided to pretend he was you and used that awfully doesn't mean I want _you_ any less. But if he ever crosses my sight again, he will wish he never did so."

"You shall have to get in line behind me, nadad," Fili's normally placid eyes were stormy. "No one hurts my One and gets away with it. When my strength returns, I will hunt Alatar to the ends of the land..." he pulled himself up on his elbows. "Maybe after a small nap."

"I'd rather keep you here." There was nothing alluring for Kili in having Fili away from him on a quest for revenge. "Let's talk to Gandalf when he returns. Maybe he knows more." He lazily wrapped a leg around Fili and closed his eyes. "A proper bath later, promise?"

"Yes," Fili sighed, contented. "Long and luxurious, very hot and steamy. Just you and me, azyungal. I shall wash your hair," he nuzzled his face into the spot where Kili's neck met his shoulder. "I shall wash _everything_ of yours."

His eyes glinted mischievously. "And then I shall make you dirty again."

Kili groaned. "You can't tell me that and expect me to be able to get some sleep."

"It's still mid-morning, k'hai," Fili lamented. "Uncle will _not_ excuse us for much longer. We shall have to put our feelings away until this evening. Now, let us get dressed and do help make your hair more presentable this time," he gave Kili's ass a playful tap.

Kili laughed. "It's your braid I'm to be wearing. Would you really like it if I did it myself?"

"Whether it's you or me doing the braiding, that wild mane of yours is a lot cause," Fili smiled fondly. "I rather like it hanging free," he mused, "but we shall do what makes you comfortable. This certainly isn't about my viewing pleasure, is it?"

Kili punched him playfully. "Idiot. I don't care how it looks. This is about you braiding my hair and telling everyone I belong to you. I only need to wear it for a day, though I'd wear it longer gladly. And you know how I feel about braids."

"I do know," Fili's smile was lovelorn and goofy. "Which is why it means all the more to me that you're willing, if only for a day, to wear my handiwork. At least it will be kept out of your bow."

It was remarkable how quickly Kili went from lazy to sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing his hair back. He felt he could take on the world—and that included that part that was going to have issues with him choosing his brother. Just above him stomach tickled that odd sensation when he thought of wearing in his hair Fili's craftsmanship—or lack thereof.

"Show the world," he challenged Fili. "Let them see it's you without asking."

The best way Fili knew to let everyone know that Kili was his One was to put his own clips in Kili's braids. Today, he would be the one with his hair hanging free, and Kili would be adorned with his silver clasps in an intricate pattern.

Behind Kili's back, Fili took up his own dagger and cut off a long piece of his own golden hair and began incorporating it into the braid he was crafting. He hoped he would make both Kili—and their Uncle—proud of his handiwork.

Kili kept still with patience. The longer Fili took, even though he couldn't see it, the wider his smile got.

He looked forward to walking out of those doors. He would show them.

"I'm yours," he whispered. "And you are mine."

"Everyone already knows," Fili lay a kiss to his cheek. "This will only remind them of the inevitable truth. Come, look," he pulled Kili toward the mirror. "I don't want you to be surprised."

Kili let himself be badgered on front of the mirror. Curiosity won out over the memory of the first time Fili braided his hair, that morning. When he saw it, he couldn't stop looking. On the left side of his face hung a braid made of two colors, the clasps recognizable as Fili's—Kili noticed only now that Fili's own hair was devoid of ornaments—and the hair intertwined like threads locked in destiny. Kili's lips parted. No words came out.

It wasn't just pride that caused his eyes to tear up. Kili finally pulled away and faced Fili. It was everything, and it stood in front of him.

"We—I—" Kili stammered. "—Kiss me. I am about to tell the world."

"You like it, truly?" Fili searched his face as Kili nearly tackled him to the ground in his exuberance to kiss him. "Okay, Okay. You do," Fili chuckled. "Just don't muss them again, nadadith. Uncle will be apoplectic."

He used but one clip to hold his own hair back from his face. Then, he took Kili's hand and pulled him out the door for the rest of Erebor to see his handiwork.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, friends, we've drawn to the end of another collaboration. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed writing it.
> 
> We thank you all for your continued support, comments and suggestions. Huge thanks to 鯖まぐろ for the astounding artwork that lit the spark from which this conflagration grew.
> 
> Our longest work yet, "Mithril Island," a Hobbit AU, will begin posting soon. We'd already written well over 125,000 words of this behemoth fraught with violence, drama, adventure, love, sex (including some never-before-explored pairings!) and a long, slow burn of sexual tension between our two favorites Durins.
> 
> Love you guys!


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